


kageyama tobio and his long and unforeseeable journey of learning the benefits of human physical contact, and tsukishima kei who's an involuntary witness to all of it.

by cereal_whore



Series: a series of separate wips all crammed together into a couple chapters with the organizational skills of an underpaid Walmart employee to represent kageyama's directionally challenged brain cells [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Everyone Loves Kageyama Tobio, Gen, Jealous Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama may be a brick. but at least he faces his emotions head on unlike tsukishima, M/M, OOC probably tbh., Teletubbies- (mentioned), Teletubbies- Freeform ??, Tsukishima Kei Hates Everyone, aka: fake slow burn., and the sequel:, apex predator hinata shoyou, bro how do i even tag something like this, god i hate teletubbies, guys the first chapter doesnt even have teletubbies, i could edit and revise this. or i could preserve my mental sanity, i might as well be a capitalist by this point, kage: tbh i dont like u. but i do like holding your hand., kuroo: a bootleg babysitter, kyoutani and kageyama instinctively understand each other bc theyre like. same breed u know, same thing with iwaziumi and daichi bc both their bffs are like. morally compromised, this is like witnessing my mental deterioration in one chapter, yamaguchi google translates every socially incapable dude. even a random motorist he passes by
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cereal_whore/pseuds/cereal_whore
Summary: "Hey. Hold hands with me." Kageyama suddenly demands. Tsukishima looks at him, then back at the hand, then back at him, mildly disturbed by this sudden command. "Bastard didn't you-""I heard." He replies, his shock thawed out by his irritation for his attitude. He casually grasps Kageyama's dry hand with his own, as if his chest isn't tightening as uncharacteristic nervousness buzzes in his brain like a swarm of flies.His skin is cold even in the springtime, and the dryness is pleasant in his balmy and warm hand."Huh. Knew it." Kageyama finally says after a moment of silent. "Okay." He lets go, and looks at Tsukishima, as if satisfied."Knew what?" Yamaguchi blurts, clearly unable to restrain himself anymore. Similarly, Tsukishima wants to shoot him.Kageyama looks at them, as if puzzled. "That it felt different?" He says, dumbfounded by their confusion."You-" Tsukishima stammers. And while Kageyama can never startle him with his brilliance, he can always baffle him with his bullshit.kageyama's character development indirectly forces an unconsenting tsukishima through his own arc of self-realisation.
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei & Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kageyama Tobio & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Kageyama Tobio & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kageyama Tobio & Kyoutani Kentarou, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei, tsukishima kei/his own internalised superiority complex
Series: a series of separate wips all crammed together into a couple chapters with the organizational skills of an underpaid Walmart employee to represent kageyama's directionally challenged brain cells [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193264
Comments: 35
Kudos: 177
Collections: Haikyuu!! Fics





	kageyama tobio and his long and unforeseeable journey of learning the benefits of human physical contact, and tsukishima kei who's an involuntary witness to all of it.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dietgummybears](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dietgummybears/gifts).



> im,,,, crying,,, why did i write this
> 
> anyways xoxo, i got this idea after rereading opm where saitama punched sonic in the groin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you'd think im done with tsukkikage. but im a minimum wage slave laborer underneath the hierarchy of capitalism at heart. aka i got paid to write this lmao

“I like touching people.”

Sugawara slowly sets down his bagel. “Kageyama,” he addresses hesitantly, because it’s very clear that none of the other third-years know what to say. 

Meanwhile, Yamaguchi, a boy who’s adapted to Kageyama’s inability to think before he speaks, only calmly places aside his novel. “By that you mean,” he attempts to coax Kageyama’s true meaning.

“I punched Tsukishima and it gave me the same exact feeling as volleyball,” he elaborates properly.

Yamaguchi stares.

So even his capabilities extend so far. 

Sugawara, who was already unprepared for Kageyama’s existence the moment he said “I like touching people”, realised that there was absolutely no way he could’ve been mentally or emotionally prepared for this entire conversation in the first place. Truly, a losing battle.

“You _punched_ Tsukishima?” Daichi reiterates, as if somehow, the disbelief in his tone could compensate for Kageyama's clear lack of remorse. “I. _Kageyama_ couldn’t you have done this _after_ practice?” _After my jurisdiction_ is the unspoken but obvious implication. 

“You punched Tsukki?” Yamaguchi echoes, glancing at the club room entrance behind Kageyama as if that’d cue in his old friend busting down the door as well as Kageyama’s hollow cranium. “I mean I can think of many reasons why. But _why?”_

“Deserved.” Is Sugawara’s only statement, the utter apathy in his voice going undetected by his teammates, who are too used to his true personality. 

“Um. I mean.” Asahi begins, slowly closing his notebook. “Where did you punch him?”

And perhaps they’re all expecting the worse. Such as ‘the face’.

“His dick.”

The silence that encapsulates the entire club room is shattered by the sound of Asahi breaking his mechanical pencil and the roar of blood flooding through Yamaguchi's ears.

_\---_

"You got punched in the groin?" Yamaguchi says awkwardly, but the inquiry is skewed with obvious distress. And Tsukishima feels almost indignant by humiliated he feels, since it's _Kageyama_ that who indirectly embarrassed him, when the boy lacks both tact and neuron receptors. 

"Unconsensually," he replies snippishly, turning away sharply. _And how did Yamaguchi hear about this?_ Kageyama doesn't seem like the type to brag about childishly stupid things. He doesn't even talk about his achievements, not because he's humble, but rather, this sentient A.I. of a being is just _that_ much of a prodigy, that he isn't even aware that half of the things he does is considered intimidatingly and enviously inhuman at times.

"Are you okay?" Yamaguchi awkwardly walks up to him, and Tsukishima coldly shoulders around him.

"I'm fine," he snaps, like it doesn't feel like his entire pelvis was sledgehammered by a frying pan.

"Okay. But. Like. If you need anything- or I mean." Tsukishima flushes at Yamaguchi's awkwardness. "Like. Do you want anything?" Yamaguchi asks kindly.

"Kageyama's joints on a platter." 

"Oh." Yamaguchi replies considerately. Then, after a moment of silence, "yeah. That's out of my capabilities." He answers sympathetically. "What did you even do to Kageyama for him to react this way?" 

_"Nothing."_

He hears an exhale, and it's not just Tsukishima's lower body that's throbbing to the rhythm of the Bhuddist Heart Sutra, now it's his head. "Tsukki. I don't condone violence."

"I do."

"But I feel like. Hm. I don't know. Knowing you and Kageyama's relationship, you probably deserved it." 

Tsukishima freezes.

_\---_

_“You deserved it."_

He didn’t.

Tsukishima did not deserve it. Sure, he definitely has a sharp mouth, but absolutely nothing could justify Kageyama’s unwarranted and impulsively violent response. He didn’t even do anything out of line- the fact that he doesn't even _remember_ what he specifically said just goes to show how mundane their dynamic might as well be. 

And Tsukishima thinks he's owed monetary payment for having his balls sucker-punched by a monster of a high schooler, as well as financial compensation for the mental trauma he had just experienced. Because when he glared back up at Kageyama because _what just happened_ , he could only freeze at the expression the kid was making while staring down at his clenched fist. 

The way that Kageyama’s eyes glittered as something almost _enlightened_ contorted his expression, gave off sinister vibes similar to his forced smiles, and it made Tsukishima’s blood run so cold that he stopped feeling the sensation of death between his legs. 

Which is probably why he hasn’t confronted that absolute _fruitcake_ of a person, when he finally gathered enough strength to actually stand back up and run laps.

He glares at Kageyama from across the court, and the jerklooks completely fine, utterly unbothered that he nearly broke his dick like a car's shift stick with the vigor of Hinata jacked up on crushed Nerds.

He pretends like he can’t see Yamaguchi observing him with the discrepancy of a startled cat. He _also_ pretends Asahi isn’t nervously glancing between them, _or_ that Sugawara, an absolute sadist of an upperclassman who would invert their lungs the moment they step out of line, isn’t snickering at him from the sidelines.

They know. He knows that they know what took place less than five minutes ago. 

He doesn’t know exactly _how_ the third-years, _and_ worst of all, _Yamaguchi_ , someone he has to see outside of this club as well, heard what happened.

But all that matters is that _somehow,_ they just _know_ , and Tsukishima can't deny that any longer. Because the moment Daichi barked at them to start running, he pulled Tsukishima to the side, and with uncharacteristic sympathy (an emotion that Tsukishima assumed was too lost on the jaded third-year who’s seen too much after having to pay bail for Nishinoya that one time at two in the morning), told him that he didn’t have to run.

The fact that Daichi’s pity was absolutely genuine, made it ten times worse.

He whips around to search for Kageyama again, and he witnesses the exact moment Kageyama punts Hinata over the net like a tumorous volleyball.

“Tsukishima?” A voice reels him out of his murderous glare, and he rounds to the source of the call. “What’s up? You looked kinda...lost in thought.” Ennoshita says earnestly, eyebrows furrowing downwards.

“I want to kill him.”

Ennoshita pauses, stepping aside to let Tanaka and Nishinoya fight their way past. “I need context.” He finally says after a minute of silence.

“Kageyama.”

“Oh I see.” Ennoshita nods “Well. Make sure to do it after practice,” he advises, before jogging past him.

\---

"Kei, are you okay? You seem kind of sullen throughout dinner. Reminded me of you as a cute kid," an annoyingly cheerful voice calls from his doorway (and Tsukishima _knows_ he closed his bedroom door, which is an unspoken indicator that he does _not_ want to be bothered). Tsukishima doesn't answer from where he's listlessly staring at his chemistry textbook that he's been glaring at for the past thirty minutes. He's been trying to read between the lines of stoichiometry to understand the sacred texts of why he shouldn't pay back violence with violence (he has yet to find an answer, especially when science tells him that every action should have an equal and opposite reaction).

Probably because he's been quiet for too long, and Akiteru is allergic to science and common sense, he hears his brother say: "Kei. Are you. O-kei?"

Tsukishima slowly looks up from the Abyss, and stares into Akiteru's eyes. He's had a _trying_ day, dealing with _trying_ people. And Tsukishima is pretty sure that before Kageyama can one day hospitalise him for a fractured prick, the stress of everything is going to take him out with heart failure first. 

"Fine." He replies hollowly, as he has an unwanted flashback of all the events from earlier today, illustrated in greyscale with echoed dialogues, reeling before his eyes like a recount of all his regrets and mistakes in life before god drags him into the light. 

And something must show in his face, because Akiteru recoils slightly, face reconstructing into something more serious. "...Kei." Akiteru suddenly addresses, voice considerably solemn. "I know I'm not the most credible person, and a coward," he continues, and Tsukishima finally focuses his gaze, because _no_. If he _knew_ this was what the conversation was going to lead to, he should've just pencil dived straight into the light at the end of the tunnel. "But if there's something serious going on, you can always rely on me," he smiles, his cheerfulness masking the holes of his fragmented confidence. And Tsukishima doesn't have it in him to bother himself with someone elses' problems, especially if they include him.

"I'm fine." He instantly rejects, because this is _not_ what's going to happen. They are _not_ going to hold a serious talk, and Tsukishima likes to avoid complicated and emotional things.

"Are you sure? I care about you." And then with the courage that Tsukishima's genuinely surprised he can muster, he adds, "because I care about you as my older brother." And for a dreadful moment, Tsukishima, out of annoyance, nearly challenges him on that notion (because Tsukishima's petty and condescending, as much as he tries to smother his temper).

"You're overreacting. A teammate from my club just bruised me." He answers bluntly, deciding that it's probably better to confide enough details to alleviate Akiteru's concerns, as he feels somewhat bad that he's overreacting to something that's ultimately insignificant in the grand scheme of life, death, and the concept of space and time. Great. 

"I. _You?_ They bruised _you?"_ Akiteru gasps, looking affronted on his behalf. "Here. Let me see. I'll ice it-"

"No." He retorts sharply. And Kageyama didn't actually bruise him- he simply gave a skewed version of today's events to get Akiteru off his tail, but because the world is cruel and god is not good, it's backfiring.

Akiteru laughs. "No, here. Let me see. It's probably super bad if you're this upset about it."

_"I'm not upset."_

Akiteru huffs, like he knows everything when he knows _nothing._ "C'mon. Lemme take a look. The last time I was able to look after you was when you were a kid-"

"I'm still a kid. Don't touch me. I'm exaggerating- it's not bruised. I'm just annoyed at him."

"You're chronically annoyed." Akiteru counters earnestly, since he thinks he's Confucius, pointing out all the obvious.

"Therefore you can't do anything about my mood." Tsukishima rebukes, shifting upright on his bed as he sees Akiteru take a step inside. He narrows his eyes. "Get out."

"Who punched you for you to be so mad?" Akiteru asks curiously, indifferent to Tsukishima's blistering atmosphere.

Tsukishima decides that things already aren't going his way, and since he's fundamentally a quitter, he might as well give up caring with the consequences of just making stuff now: "Yamaguchi."

"Ya-" Akiteru looks genuinely dumbfounded, and Tsukishima would be more entertained if this entire conversation isn't reminding him that he's _sulking_ over someone like _Kageyama._ "Oh. So you deserved it, then," he says almost sympathetically.

Tsukishima pauses, looking at him. "Get out."

"Ah. Poor Yamaguchi, finally standing up for himself aga-"

"Get. Out."

\---

It took exactly a single day for Tsukishima Kei to completely forget about:

1\. yesterday’s humiliation

2\. eighteen missed Facetime calls from Yamaguchi

3\. Sugawara-senpai’s leering smiles

4\. having to unblock Yamaguchi's contact from his phone

5\. how he had to pull mental somersault to get Akiteru off his back, because even if he's trying to be a nice caring senior, Tsukishima would genuinely rather helicopter himself out of his bedroom window than let his older brother unknowingly touch his dick. 

And he's able to trash those thoughts because of what he's staring at right now.

“What are you doing?” He asks numbly.

“I think I like touching people.” Kageyama answers with his usual boldness. Hinata, the only rival to Kageyama’s lack of shame, simply roars in reply:

“LIKE I’D EVER BE TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO TOUCH PEOPLE!”

Tsukishima watches as Kageyama raises his hand, the one conjoined to Hinata’s. Kageyama nearly lifts the frothing boy off his feet.

“Huh.” Yamaguchi finally says. "And how'd you get to that revelation?" He asks with something akin to curiosity.

"After I punched Tsukishima."

Yamaguchi chokes and Tsukishima snaps his head over at him so fast, he has afterimages blurring his vision. To the side, Hinata's howling: "YOU DID THAT WITHOUT ME-"

"So you're telling me you're holding hands because you had an epiphany of how touch-starved you are through concussing Tsukki between the legs?" Yamaguchi finally says after a beat of silence, when absolutely nobody asked him to summarise Tsukishima's Shakespearian tragedy in four parts.

"What's an 'epiphany'?" Hinata asks in unison with Kageyama's question: "you can concuss a dick?"

Tsukishima stares, retiring his cognitive processing facilities in an attempt to process a single syllable of what they've said.

“I'm offended that dumb people are capable of being difficult.” Tsukishima answers truthfully, because for the first time in a while, he’s encountering an equation that he can’t quite solve.

"Maybe you're just not as smart as you thought if you can't understand us!" Hinata sticks out his tongue. 

“I think. Touching people is nice. Physical connection. Physical telepathy.” Kageyama admits truthfully, readjusting his hands, interlocking his fingers with Hinata’s once more. Tsukishima expected too much out of the boy to knows what telepathy means. However, rather than calling him out, Tsukishima just stares at their tangle of fingers, that vaguely gives him the impression of a person with an unruly child who eats the napkins of Burger King establishments. 

And he doesn’t know exactly why he’s developing an unusual fixation to Kageyama’s every move, or why his eyes are automatically drawn to Hinata’s calloused hand that's completely smothered in Kageyama’s larger one (and though Kageyama’s nails are short and stubby, Tsukishima is pleased to note that they're remarkably clean and evenly trimmed). 

“Oh. That’s sweet,” Yamaguchi shrugs, finding nothing strange about this entire scenario. And it’s _not_ sweet. It’s _very_ strange.

It's strange for many reasons, all unlimited simply due to the fact that it's _them_ who's involved, but there are three specific bullets that bother him the most. 

1\. First of all, this entire circa medieval, Modern Romanticism painting, illustrates Hinata like those deformed cats with strangely humanesque faces.

2\. Secondly, Hinata's height in general, which is already an anomaly to this world at his given age, makes Kageyama look like a babysitter _(_ _a_ _nother_ uncomfortable variable because Kageyama has the self-preservation of a stick of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum, and can't even keep a sapient, multicellular organism alive, much less a Goldfish cracker). Such an image is only cemented by the fact that their linked arms looks like a makeshift leash.

Thirdly-

3\. Kageyama is _stupid-_ so what is _going on?_

Kageyama has _zero_ immunity against emotions, so how is this _happening?_ For all his communication struggles, people go as far as to depict him as expressionless, or incapable of conveying emotions. But they know better. Tsukishima knows better. Everyone except for Nishinoya who has negative two insight to balance out his overpowered 9999 strength stats, knows better. Their entire team is well aware that Kageyama, while he's certainly empty in the head, his glances are far from blank. Kageyama's simply unreadable because his communication skills are shot and his expressions are as under-researched as the Turkish Bird Whistling language.

Meaning that Kageyama Tobio, a kid that Tsukishima has unwillingly known for the past two years, shouldn't even be capable of initiating physical contact for the sakes of _normal_ human socialization. Kageyama should have no defenses against anything outside of his ordinary shouting, and his emotional barrier is _weak_ while his reactions are strong, as proven when he was flustered to the point of nearly jumping out of Asahi’s moving car in the midst of a cardiac arrest (while simultaneously giving Asahi one himself) when Nishinoya gifted him a half-thawed steamed dumpling.

The fact that Kageyama appears completely fine, not at all changed, _while_ holding Hinata’s hand, stirs his organs like batter, because it feels like he's witnessing hyperspeed evolution in a person.

Not for the first time, Tsukishima has to begrudgingly admit that maybe Kageyama really does live up to his name as a genius.

However this-

_Something-_

The feeling coiling around his chest and sitting in his stomach like indigestion or Kuroo's five-layered nacho dip that usually has some cheese substitute involving Elmer's wood glue, is extremely unpleasant. There's a sewing thread woven through the shelves of his rib cage over an infinite number of times, before pulling tight. It hurts, and he doesn't know if it's his pride that's throbbing (and if it is, then it's even _more_ shameful because he can't believe _Kageyama_ out of everyone can hurt his _pride_ ). 

Tsukishima hates being wrong. That’s why he’s feeling this way. He hates that his evaluation of Kageyama wasn’t right, when the specimen himself is simple and honest. It's a bit insulting. 

“Why are you guys holding hands? Did Hinata try to run off?” Tanaka suddenly inquires, stepping out of the gym, probably due to the racket. 

It’s not an uncommon fear of their team that one day, Hinata will run into the woods without looking back, never to be seen again. Karasuno already has too many superstitious lore ranging from Asahi in the dark with his hair down, to Tanaka’s unknown origins- they don’t need another impediment on their image. 

“I wish.” Tsukishima says flatly, and he spat those words in an effort to stabilize the strange heat lining the inside of his lungs, as if he could force normalcy until it becomes second nature.

But something must’ve been off his in his voice, and Tsukishima can’t hear it over the ringing in the abyss of his ears, but he can tell by the way that Yamaguchi pauses from where he’s trying to bypass Tanaka to go inside. Yamaguchi looks at Tsukishima with an thoughtful expression.

Then, not at all looking concerned that Tsukishima’s probably experiencing Stage D heart failure right at their gym’s doorstep, he suddenly smiles.

Tsukishima’s almost stunned out of his own existential crisis.

_Smiled._

A sly and conniving smile-

Almost like he copy pasted Kuroo-senpai’s equally agitating grin onto his own-

_Yamaguchi Tadashi is smirking at him_ -

Tsukishima narrows his eyes, the broil of his brain hotter than whatever hell is crackling in his lungs, because Yamaguchi has definitely become more of his own person these past two years (and Tsukishima carefully pretends like he hasn’t been so limited beforehand because of him).

But nothing could’ve prepared Tsukishima for the dramatic reveal that Yamaguchi’s repressed personality was being a short-handed bitch.

"Hey. Tsukishima." 

He glances over. Hinata stares at him with the unnerving fixation of a North American turkey glaring through the second floor window of a couple's bedroom. "You look like you're thinking of something. You wanna hold my hand, too?" He holds out a grubby hand.

Tsukishima stares at it, and slaps it like it's not his hand there, but instead, his face.

* * *

[parental blessing]

“Hey. Hug me.”

Daichi Looks At Him™, as the gym falls silent. “Yeah, okay, I-” and with the painful reluctance of a tired college student, Daichi simply claps Kageyama on the back.

They stare.

Daichi Sawamura, who’d roasted raw bacon on the gym’s portable heater to give to Kuroo when he wouldn’t stop begging for scraps (and later, refused to pay for Kuroo’s medical bill when he got hospitalised for salmonella), is properly _indulging_ in someone.

Over something as sensitive as physical affection. 

And that someone is _Kageyama Tobio_. Kageyama, who has _never_ had a penchant for physical contact and would rather pull a Hinata by biting someone's hand if it hovered too close to his head. Kageyama, _that_ specific underclassman that Daichi is consistently driven to absolutely _losing_ it for an entire hour every school day. And Daichi is stroking his back like he's a pet rock.

“Daichi, are you sick?” Sugawara finally asks, his smile too calculating and stiff as if he’s unable to properly comprehend what he’s seeing either. Glad to know they’re all on the same page here.

“Why not ask _him_ that, for asking for a hug,” Daichi snaps. And no one's saying anything, but Daichi, though insisting he’ll only _compromise_ with Kageyama's unreasonable demand, has yet to remove his hand from his back.

And maybe it’s an unconscious act, but he appears to be patting him.

They watch as Kageyama awkwardly leans closer into his grasp, then, to Tsukishima’s mild shock and absolute horror, the boy wraps his arms around Daichi’s chest like a hesitant handcuff.

To the side, Sugawara drops his waterbottle.

It’s almost hilarious.

Tsukishima wants to record this, dangle it above the King’s head and broadcast to everyone until the numbskull _finally_ realizes how embarrassing it is for him to act like a domesticated raccoon who has comprehended the human language-

But-

“What.” Tsukishima finally says, feeling inexplicably tired all of a sudden. The character arc is moving too fast, and he can't keep up with the plotline. He should just sleep for a whole semester. 

"Why do I feel cheated out of something?" Narita comments.

"A normal school life?" Kinoshita answers curiously.

"Peace." Tsukishima suggests dryly.

"No. It's like. I feel cheated out of everything I know about Kageyama." Narita clarifies. "Like. I see a Kageyama Tobio at a store, but when I buy it off online, I get something completely different."

"It's okay, you can say secondhand," Tsukishima encourages kindly.

“Coach Ukai’s going to be sad he missed this,” Ennoshita murmurs. Then, almost thoughtfully: “or not, since I think he never wants to see us again.”

“Okay, everyone, positions!” Daichi sighs, and then gives a finalized pound on Kageyama’s back, but the boy himself has yet to unlock his grip around Daichi. "We'll do warm-ups for ten minutes today, since we've all arrived a little late-" he continues, ignoring the rather clingy hula-hoop latched onto his body. 

And it’s comical, how Kageyama’s slightly taller than Daichi, giving Tsukishima the impression of those expendable carwash balloons with noodle arms.

“Why’d you ask for a hug anyways?” Tsukishima hears Hinata bark noisily as he himself readies himself next to the net.

“I was testing something.” Kageyama replies. Tsukishima squints at that, while he sees Narita trip over his shoe laces. Fair enough. Kageyama? Testing something? Next he's going to use the word 'hypothesis'. Now, asking for hugs is already out-of-character; but being verbally intelligent? Now then, Tsukishima is willing to reconsider Oikawa-senpai's conspiracy theories about aliens replacing human lifeforms. 

"It's fine," Tsukishima hears Yachi reassure Hinata, who appears miffed he's getting dumped by his own training partner. "This is just like when for a month, Tanaka-senpai was obsessed with peeling string cheese and feeding us a single strand each time. It'll be like just like that. A phase."

Tsukishima eyeballs Daichi who's trying to pry Kageyama off of his shoulders. 

He shivers, and his thighs ache.

_It better be._

* * *

[mall trip!]

“This is weird.”

“It keeps him quiet,” Daichi replies monotonously. Just like the rest of the team, he's accepted that this is Kageyama’s new character trait, and just like with everything else the bastard throws at them, Daichi has simply coevolved alongside Kageyama.

In other words: Tsukishima genuinely believes that their team spoils that ungrateful brat with their low standards of what an evolved species like theirs should look like. They also spoil him by the fact that they’re willing to put up with everything he has so far sprung on them with little resistance. 

“Cool, let me try.” Are Kuroo Tetsurou’s next and instantaneous and casual response.

Tsukishima is incapable of erasing the disgust off his face, and he’s glad to see Kenma, behind Kuroo, mirror a similar expression of strong distraught as well.

“No.” Daichi responds flatly, not once looking up from his phone, or from where Kageyama’s head is pillowed on his thighs, the rest of his too-long Twizzler lengthed body inconveniently taking up the rest of the bus seats. Once again, Tsukishima believes that Kageyama Tobio is a public nuisance.

Unfortunately, Tsukishima _is_ a part of the public that Kageyama is terrorizing. Which leaves him feeling partially anxious that Kageyama's sudden and newfound _hobby_ is not just a public nuisance, but rather, is a public _disturbance._ Not only does Tsukishima not want to be associated with a man who decides to take up four seats like a jerk, he's also just mortifyingly unsettled by how _weird_ this feels. It feels _uncharacteristic._ Even Yamaguchi, who was taunting him for being unable to process Kageyama’s strange behaviour, is silent and saucer-eyed, glancing at Daichi who’s absent-mindedly stroking Kageyama’s hair like an oversized cat.

Because Kageyama being strange, especially when it comes to any social situation, can be chalked up as just an aggressive variant of Kageyama's himbo setting. However, the incomprehensibility of this situation is _Daichi’s_ unusual leniency towards this whole situation. Because this is Daichi Sawamura, a boy who had tried to DIY a lobotomy on Bokuto Koutarou using the spring of a ballpoint pen and a shredded Monster can. And yet, Daichi is _petting_ a 182 cm, six-foot-something manchild with the whipcord body of a stacked NerdRope, like he's a pet turtle. 

“I- _what_? I want to pet him too-” Kuroo gripes.

“Back off,” Daichi remarks with his brutal captain-aura, continuing his BuzzFeed quiz on his phone. "Anyways. I'm rye bread," he announces with zero explanation. 

“Oi, don’t steal my cute underclassman,” Sugawara scorns, capping the Sharpie he was using to write Asahi’s social security number onto his forehead.

"You bully your underclassmen," Kiyoko mumbles, and Sugawara sticks out his tongue.

“I want to try, too,” Kuroo murmurs, and Tsukishima rolls his eyes. "I _get_ bullied by my own underclassmen."

"So you're like Asahi-san," Tanaka comments wisely.

"I thought Daichi-senpai would be cornbread." Yamamoto says from the sidelines.

“Kuroo-senpai,” Lev bounds over, rattling the bus and scaring the other passengers who were already watching with bulging eyes at the sheer amount of hormonal teenagers crowding together in the back. “You can pet me!” He offers sacrificially.

Kuroo stares. Then: “lmao, no.”

“Don’t say ‘lmao’ out loud.” Yaku sneers as he bows to a passing grandma as he stands up to let her take the last seat. Then, Yaku actually fights his way through the crowd of Karasuno and Nekoma kids awkwardly clinging onto the bus railings (and onto each other as those ran out), to actually see the scene. He freezes upon seeing Daichi and Kageyama. “Why is he taking up so many seats?” He finally asks. 

“Do you want to move him?” Daichi offers challengingly.

Yaku appears very close to fighting Daichi, and honestly, Tsukishima’s here for it. Then, Yaku's gaze flickers back to Kageyama, and Tsukishima sees the fight drain out of him. Disappointing. “Whatever,” Yaku sighs. And then, startling Tsukishima by his abruptness, as well as Yamaguchi as he feels his friend’s hand clamp onto his shoulder with an iron grip, Yaku releases all his gathered adrenaline onto Lev’s kneecaps.

They watch as he nearly topples over, and crush Kenma, who appears rather resigned to his fate, staring at Lev’s crippling back with a stony expression that welcomes death.

“Wh _AAA_!” Hinata gapes, bounding over and crawling over Daichi like a spider that inhaled too much Off!, while dangerously crushing Kageyama's throat (and Tsukishima sees the way Kageyama’s veiny hand suddenly creeps up from where he’s resting, and nearly snaps onto Hinata’s head like a claw machine). "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" He gasps, barreling down the aisle and towards Yaku who looks like his flight or fight response was instantly triggered by the sudden arrival of a Pokémon who has discovered free will. 

“Short people.” Tsukishima mutters, clicking his tongue, clasping his headphones over his ears, deciding that he should pretend like he doesn't know them.

"We should've just walked." Yamaguchi crumples in his seat.

\---

“Aren’t you a bit too old to be doing this?” Tsukishima asks, miffed, and suffering from extreme second-hand embarrassment since they're _inside_ a mall with many pedestrians looking at them because of Kuroo.

“Stop trying to steal him, Tsukki,” Kuroo whines, and Tsukishima cocks a brow at that. Kuroo, an absolute leech when it comes to traumatizing underclassmen, is reacting in a way that Tsukishima’s never seen before.

He looks at Kageyama, a muscled fifteen-year-old who could hopefully peel Kuroo's neck like a wet popsicle stick, fasten his arms around Kuroo's limbs like an underground WWE wrestler. If Yamaguchi and Yachi hadn't insisted on following them (and he can't believe _Yachi_ out of everyone is fond of Kuroo has a senior), he would've abandoned them.

"I don't want him." Tsukishima answers bluntly. 

"Fuck off." Kageyama bristles.

"Yeah! Frick off!" Hinata hunches from the side. Yachi laughs quietly at that. 

"I'm just concerned senpai is going to drop the entire tumor on his back." Tsukishima shrugs.

"Stop projecting." Yamaguchi automatically scolds Tsukishima with an indifferent tone.

"Yeah, Tsukki," Kuroo gives a sleazy smile. Tsukishima squints in disgust. "Unlike you, I would never purposefully, much less accidentally, drop him. Besides, all your complaining is telling me that _you_ want a piggyback ride." Hinata nearly discombobulates all his limbs upon hearing that. Tsukishima steps past him with ease, his mask of indifference hiding the fact that his heartbeat is going so fast from a sudden wave of bloodlust, that he's mildly concerned his heart is going to give out in the middle of a mall. "Tsukki, if you really wanted one, I'll give you one later,” Kuroo offers with a pitying tone. 

And Tsukishima's not one for dramatics. He's a rational and mature teenager who's actually capable of thinking ahead. Which is why, after .00001 seconds of analysing every possible response he could give to his senpai within the next two atomical units of time, he can statistically confirm that all reasonable pathways lead to the necessary extermination of Kuroo Tetsurou off the face of earth.

“See, I'm just excited!" Kuroo blathers, as if he has to explain himself to Tsukishima, as if any words could exempt his sinful existence as a whole. "Like. Kenma _never_ lets me carry him. Or pet him. Or touch him. Or talk to him. And none of my teammates want me to either-” Kuroo continues narrating his entire tragic life story of being virtually and justifiably disliked by all his teammates.

“Hey, Kuroo-senpai,” Yamaguchi cuts in, sparing him and Yachi from Kuroo’s own incompetence. “Daichi-senpai is glaring at you.”

And Tsukishima doesn’t turn around. As a consequence of standing next to Kuroo, he’s caught in the range of Daichi’s glower from around ten feet behind them.

His shoulder is burning.

“You should return him,” Kai nods at Kageyama. The rest of Nekoma had adapted pretty well to the fact that their team leader is touch-starved, and therefore as a collective group, had pretty much sacrificed Kageyama to Kuroo in place of themselves.

Tsukishima can’t even be mad at the rest of Nekoma. Kageyama isn’t against being lugged around like a body bag, and he personally would want someone else to shut Kuroo up for the time being.

But.

He glances at Kageyama once more. And he seems _extremely_ content. And not exhilarated in the volleyball sense, nor in the way that he appears relieved after Tsukishima checks his worksheet for the twenty-eighth time and tells him he can probably turn it in without the teacher asking him to visit her after class. 

He appears-

And Tsukishima once again, has another revelation of disgust, scorching and hot against the back of his throat, burning his eyes at the sight of Kageyama appearing happy just dangling his arms over Kuroo’s shoulders, pressed against his back with an expression that-

Tsukishima has never seen Kageyama make that face before.

Then again, he does tend to avoid Kageyama as much as possible.

He swallows the strange lump of heat discomforting his airway.

Is getting a piggyback ride really that nice? Probably not. Maybe he's just petty and doesn't like seeing Kageyama reap the benefits of what he's sowed, especially when his revelation was catalysed by straight-up _injuring_ Tsukishima. He never even _apologised_ for that. 

“Anyways, Yachi, did you buy everything you wanted?” Yamaguchi hums, glancing over at her.

“SHAVED ICE!” Hinata bristles, staring at the stall in the mall’s food court, eyes flickering wildly at the lineup of food, before they scan over to Kageyama. Tsukishima narrows his eyes at the boy's abrupt and unusual concentration. 

Suddenly, Hinata squeezes between him and Kuroo, and grabs onto one of Kageyama’s limp hands, tugging harshly and nearly sending both him and Kuroo scattered across the floor. Tsukishima scowls, sidestepping the biohazard with the grace of a someone who has firsthand experience of abandoning all loyalties for the sake of face. 

While doing so, he also nods politely to a couple that's staring at their odd ragtag group that extends miles back (because none of them are capable of sticking together without wandering off like pigeons in the midst of Chinatown). Whatever. Tsukishima is quite grateful for the distance. This way, he won't be associated with Lev, who's obliviously intimidating a shopkeeper into giving him eight free samples of beef jerky, or Sugawara and Yamamoto, who are still trying to duke it out with the mall cop who kicked Nishinoya out for disorderly conduct.

Tsukishima's simply waiting for when the entire caboose of students get corralled out of here for being a Constitutionally unlawful assembly. That way, he can visit the trinket stores he likes without interruption.

“Oi, Hinata, go _away_ ,” Kageyama grumbles, face still pressed against Kuroo’s shoulder.

Kuroo twitches, leg spasming slightly. “Kageyama, that tickles,” he whines, and Tsukishima opens his mouth to retort _then why don’t you put him down_ , when he feels the flush of molten magma lap at his uvula, and he clamps his jaw shut, his teeth gating the exit of his words.

Eyes wide, he quickly whips his head to the front, walking ahead.

And he could almost hear his words. But they would’ve lost their usual snark and dryness- they would’ve been aggressive.

He can hear it, can _sense_ it just based on the intensity of the heat.

He doesn’t know what to make of it, and decides that it's better if he just doesn't.

\---

Tsukishima looks at Kuroo.

"Where's the child." And it's not a question, it's a statement of mild horror. Kuroo's looking at his empty hands as if they can provide him answers to life, Sriracha, and Kageyama Tobio's sudden disappearance like they weren't _literally_ physically attached seconds ago. Tsukishima emits an abrupt one-note bark of scathing laughter, once he realises that Kuroo obviously doesn't know. "Ha. Daichi-senpai's going to flay you alive."

They simultaneously turn their heads over to the side, and observes their large gathering of teenagers, barely fenced together by Daichi. The Nekoma students seem mildly tame in comparison, probably because their ratio of 'decent people who would not help bury a body' to 'literal agents of chaos,' isn't wildly unbalanced the way Karasuno's is. Then there's the fact that they're capable of feigning normalcy out in public spaces with or without Kuroo's help (since Kuroo, while Tsukishima is willing to say is a 'good' captain on many standards just none of his, is currently _out here losing one of their biggest wildcards)._

He wonders what it'd be like to be teammates with normal people like Kai or Kindaichi.

Meanwhile, their Sugawara out here, embodies all four horsemen of the apocalypse and is a harbinger of disaster that rivals finals' week stress, and Asahi _is_ the finals' week stress. The only other mildly responsible teammate is Kiyoko-senpai, except she has left the food court early after witnessing Tanaka's party trick of squirting an entire packet of ketchup into his eyes, and blinking to evenly smear it all over his eyeball's surface area like his gecko eyelids are windshield wipers. 

Meaning everything is falling a part since Daichi has yet to properly learn Naruto's clone jutsu, and unfortunately, as one person, he can only keep them from wrecking havoc for so long. 

"Maybe Tobio-chan's just caught in the crowd," Kuroo mumbles pitifully. But Tsukishima doesn't even have to skim his eyes over the group to just _know_ Kageyama isn't here, solely because he can't hear Hinata screaming, and Hinata is essentially Kageyama's portable Find My Phone alarm. Meaning _Hinata's_ probably gone, as well.

Kuroo must've came to the same conclusion, because he says, "wait. Where's the shrimp? _Shit_ , I lost _two_ of Daichi's kids. I'm done for." 

"Um. Aren't they the most problematic, especially when alone?" Yamaguchi begins nervously.

Tsukishima sighs. "Well. I guess that's that. There's nothing more we can do. We should start heading back."

Yamaguchi looks at him, appearing mildly insulted on two boys' behalf. 

"I'm not wasting my time looking for two high school teenagers in a public entertainment space." Tsukishima drawls. "Especially when one of them could've been mistaken for a kid and kidnapped out in the open." Absently, he thinks that if Kageyama gets kidnapped, it'd be ironic if his face showed up as a missing poster on his favourite drink like in those western films set in the 1900s. 

"Just because they're teenagers doesn't mean they should be left alone!" Yamaguchi reasons, tone panicked. "Hinata probably can't differentiate between PopRocks and crystal meth! And Kageyama probably doesn't even _know_ what crystal meth is!"

"Hinata could try either of them and still be the same," Tsukishima consoles.

Kuroo's now grasping at his hair, fully realising the severity of losing the two children who have not outgrown the need for those stuffed-animal backpacks with those leashes attached to them. 

"Tsukki, we can't just let our own friends down!" Yamaguchi clenches his fist.

Tsukishima looks at him, affronted that Yamaguchi is severely underestimating his ability of being a first-rate asshole. "Yes we can."

Yamaguchi's hand grasps his wrist with immeasurable strength from the power of friendship, love, and determination to avoid inevitable death at the hands of Daichi Sawamura if he finds out they abandoned his last two Leash Children. 

"I knew I should've installed that GPS chip into him the way I did with Kenma," Kuroo groans.

"What."

"You think Hinata would stand still long enough for you to be able to implement anything on him?" Tsukishima says dryly.

"I'll just stir fruit flavoured sleeping sedatives into his Caprisun," Kuroo moans into his hands. "My mom did that to me as a kid."

Tsukishima ponders over that. And then squints. "Isn't that just alcohol? And stirred into it? You mean you poured the Caprisun out of the bag that has a straw already, and into a cup to drink it?" He says, flabberghasted. Why bother to do all that work?

"What." Yamaguchi echoes.

He turns to his friend. "Yamaguchi," he addresses, snapping his finger in front of Yamaguchi's distracted expression that looks horribly distressed over Kuroo's criminal confession. "Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shoyou could literally disappear off the face of this earth and I would automatically accept the cover-up of assuming they were just figments of my delusional imagination, as much as that would hurt my pride since that implies that I could possibly imagine personalities like Hinata's that have the quality of two-thousand-and-three YouTube videos."

Yamaguchi stares at him. "You can single-handedly dismantle any argument against the use of the Oxford comma with just speaking." Tsukishima looks at him, and decides he's offended.

To the side, Kuroo seemed to have gathered his wits, as he adds, "oh. Wait. Where's Yachi-chan?"

All three of them fall quiet at the realisation that they didn't just lose the resident dumbasses, they also lost the local underpaid babysitter. "Oh my god." Yamaguchi whispers, eyes vibrating so hard in their sockets that his irises are becoming nothing more than streaks of oil paint and desperation.

Tsukishima whirls around, eyes tearing through the crowd with a frenzy that contrasts his outward indifference. "You know what," he finally sighs. He turns back to them. "I know I'm an asshole, but even _I'm_ not the type to turn away from those in need."

Yamaguchi instantly stops melting in panic, just to stare at him with obvious judgment.

Kuroo also takes a coffee break of wallowing in guilt over his own irresponsibility, solely to squint at Tsukishima.

"How could I ever abandon our friend and Hinata and Kageyama?" Tsukishima continues. "Anyways, I have a simple idea that can be conducted with just us. Follow me."

\---

Daichi wants to go home. He turns to Sugawara, who's off with Kiyoko, probably buying out the entire pet store of parakeets again.

"DAICHI-SENPAI!" Nishinoya gasps, gesturing to the eight plushies Asahi somehow fished out during the claw machine game. And Daichi always knew his friend was a monster of illegal secrets underneath his exterior of kindness.

Daichi stares, interrupted out of his internal screaming. "You're still here?" He blurts abruptly, fixated onto Nishinoya's figure. Didn't he get kicked out?

"Kinoshita went to the acupuncture place with Narita. Anyways, now he can't stand." Nishinoya says, voiding his question like it was never spoken.

"What." Kai says.

Daichi exhales. "Let's just leave Kinoshita there until this trip is over." And nobody opposes his generously-stated issue of abandonment. "Anyways, find Kuroo." His face crumples at the visual expression of him. At least when Kuroo's _not_ around Bokuto, he can function in a mildly societally acceptable manner. "We should do another headcount just in cas-"

 _"This is the front desk speaking,"_ a pleasant voice crackles through the air, drowning out the rest of Daichi's command. _"Can Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shoyou, and Yachi Hitoka please come to the front desk? Your guardian is looking for you."_

And as the voice cuts out, leaving their _entire_ group effectively quiet (and it's disconcerting how one declaration was capable of doing such, when Daichi has lost his voice, pride, sense of peace in a world where god clearly does not love him, and energy, just to get five-and-a-half people to listen to him (and Lev accounts for _three_ out of those five-and-a-half). 

Daichi blinks. "Well, at least someone's looking out for us and we have one responsible guardian." He sighs.

No one says anything.

He then starts. "Wait. _I'm the responsible guardia-"_

\---

"Your friends got lost? Huh. You can't contact them by phone?" The secretary asks, their finger tapping the mic button.

"Ah, yeah, we can't get through them," Yamaguchi laughs sheepishly, and the secretary nods knowingly.

"They're irresponsible." Tsukishima automatically clarifies.

The secretary laughs at this. "Sounds like a handful. Well, the mall is a fun place to visit, after all. A break from all the exams."

"Yeah. Those three tend to get excited on their own. They're really cute," Yamaguchi snickers. "Especially Kageyama," he eyes Tsukishima. Tsukishima glares back. "He doesn't seem like the type, but he's actually really shy! And likes to be carried."

Tsukishima snorts at that. Kageyama is _not_ shy. He's just too dense to understand what he's trying to say, and when he finally reaches to the conclusions of his implications, he looks just as shocked as everyone else is. He doesn't say that out loud, though, especially with an outsider listening in. 

"He's the cutest underclassmen. Same with Yachi! They're both really fun to tease," Kuroo whistles.

"I'm telling Daichi-senpai that," Tsukishima automatically tattles, ignoring the look of betrayal that contorts Kuroo's countenance.

"You guys sound close," the secretary replies cheerfully, clearly finding more entertainment in this conversation than in their security footage.

Tsukishima makes a face.

"Oh-" they blink, glancing out one of their windows of their desk. "That's. A lot of people coming in our direction." They mumble, eyes flitting nervously.

And it's only been a couple minutes since they asked for the speaker to call down their friends, so Tsukishima's mildly surprised that the trio appeared. 

He looks over, and freezes at the familiar figures in the distance. 

A hoard of teenagers is coming over, with Daichi at the front, radiating an omniscient pressure with a metal smile. "I can't believe we came here to find three people _without_ them, and instead of finding those people, we get _them_ in turn." Yamaguchi whispers.

And Tsukishima thought that they could get away with this if they reunited with the trio _before_ Daichi gets to them first, because he already knew they couldn't prevent Daichi from hearing the announcement; but he thought that Daichi wouldn't be able to find them that fast with everyone else in tow.

He also realised he _somehow_ dismissed any problems with Hinata and Kageyama's sense of direction, as he thought Yachi's presence would cancel out their incompetence like factors.

He can't believe there's a day where he legitimately _overestimated_ Hinata and Kageyama's comprehensive skills. 

"Great, we're done for," Kuroo sighs in resignation, sounding vaguely peaceful with the concept of death.

The secretary is staring at them again, something unreadable in their eyes.

"Oh. Wait, there are three people coming from that side. Are they the ones you were looking for?" They gesture to three familiar figures walking closer to the desk. 

"Oh, yes!" Yamaguchi gasps, face shriveling up in an effort to refrain from breaking down in the middle of the mall, and Tsukishima whirls over. "Thank god, we can live to see another day." The secretary looks at him with their professional smile still plastered on their face, but their eyes remain unwaveringly still as if they don't know how to respond to that.

"Kuroo-senpai, see, I found them. You're not dead." Tsukishima points, knowing full well how smug he sound. He looks over, startled by the lack of response.

He squints.

Kuroo is currently staring off into the distance, eyes blank and unseeing, hands clasped into a prayer, as if Tsukishima isn't his saviour.

"Tsukki, you're the smartest!" Yamaguchi cheers.

"Oi, Tsukki, you saved my life. I lied, _you're_ my favour-" Tsukishima flicks Kuroo's Adam's apple before he can lunge over, and walks away from his withering figure. The missing children will reach the desk before Daichi can, meaning that they _probably_ won't get in trouble.

At least Tsukishima won't.

"Hello, your friends were very worried about you!" The secretary chuckles, glancing at Hinata who's carrying a bag of food, with Kageyama stalking right behind him while crunching a Pepsi can in his fist. He almost looks sullen, except Tsukishima's willing to bet that he's simply impassive. However, he juxtaposes Yachi right next to him, who's wearing an infallible smile between her cheeks flushed with exertion.

"KUROO-SENPAI!" Hinata roars, and Kuroo laughs, sweeping up the boy from underneath the armpits, as if instinctively (or calculatively) recognising that with Hinata in his hands, it'll be plot-armor against Daichi's judgment. "Thanks for watching over them!" Hinata tells the secretary, clinging onto one of Kuroo's arms like a disorientated lobster.

"Hey," Tsukishima sucks on his tongue, glaring. _"We_ watched over you, stupid-"

"Haha! No problem, Kageyama-san. They said so many nice things about you, I can certainly see where they're coming from!" the secretary smiles at Hinata.

Yamaguchi gags, eyes snapping to them so hard that there's a blurry afterimage of his pupils streaking across his eyes.

Tsukishima freezes, while Kuroo chokes, dropping Hinata and nearly cracking his skull open like a honeymelon onto the floor. And Tsukishima, even in a haze of shock, can still feel mildly disappointed that he didn't get rid of Hinata in one go, since that'd lead to Daichi finishing Kuroo off, as well.

Kageyama looks up from where he strangled a tin can with the expression of a man who exfoliated his throat with kitty litter. "Huh?" He makes eye contact with the secretary. "Oh. Thanks."

And before Tsukishima can call 119 because he just witnessed a murder, he sees a flash of red and an impressively chilling shout. He turns around fast enough, to witness Daichi Sawamura _commit_ the murder by pulling an illegal heavyweight boxing move on Kuroo, right in front of the secretary.

The secretary looks at them, then at Kageyama who blinks impassively at their sudden fixation, then at Kuroo out cold on the floor and Daichi stepping on his joints like car breaks, and then at the mob of sweaty children gathered around their station with no escape.

Hinata giggles.

They calmly turn to Tsukishima, smile unfaltering, as if that means anything when Tsukishima's pretty sure they haven't blinked for the past three minutes. "I'm going to have to ask all of you guys to kindly remove yourselves from our premises," they inform with a kind voice.

\---

“Can’t believe we went on a mall trip together.”

“Can’t believe we got kicked out of a mall together.” Asahi groans glumly, rubbing his face.

They all stare quietly as the friction does nothing to remove the permanent marker that's still on his face. Tsukishima's pretty sure he hasn't noticed it, yet. 

Tsukishima thinks about their company, and rather resolutely, says in continuation of Asahi’s words to make sure he doesn’t catch onto their sudden silence, “I can believe it.”

“Hey, I mean, now this is a vibe, isn’t it?” Kuroo snickers from where he’s pushing Daichi on the swing, who’s rhythmically pumping his legs to his nonexistent heartbeat, his eyes staring off into the distance. Well. At least Kuroo and his possible spinal fracture appeared to have recovered from the events that've transpired within the past hour.

“No, no this isn’t.” Yaku counters grittily from where he’s curled up and hidden underneath the very top of the plastic slide, squeezed underneath the hood of the playground, because he found out that due to Lev’s overbearing height, he physically can’t reach Yaku from there.

However, Lev himself is too busy finding his own fun, doing the monkey bars with Hinata, who’s a literal monkey of his own.

Tsukishima watches as Lev stands underneath the bars, and reaches upwards and grasps one of the rungs, while Hinata dangles from the one next to him.

And Tsukishima will never feel jealous over people like them, but he does have to admit, it is easy to be pleased when you're so simple.

He sighs, and rips the wrapper of the popsicle Ennoshita had bought for them from the nearby Family Mart with Narita and Asahi (those three are the only ones who aren’t broke).

It’s grape.

He hates grape.

He sighs, and stares at the dribbling juice, watching it collect at the wrapper still crumpled around the stick.

“Eat it before it melts!” Kinoshita chirps worriedly, still handing out popsicles to others. 

"Aren't you supposed to be paralysed?" Sugawara says, and Tsukishima genuinely can't tell if he's missing something, or if this is just one of Sugawara's unfounded threats. 

“Oh. Tsukki, you hate grape,” Yamaguchi wrinkles his nose, attracting Tsukishima's attention before he contemplates if he really should just call the police. They're already on speed-dial after the events of today, so it feels like a shame if he doesn't go through with it. Who knows. Maybe he'll even get to see Kuroo-senpai dragged out in handcuffs.

“Tastes like medicine,” he answers tonelessly, deciding to set aside that idea for now. He'll reconsider it after fabricating some evidence. Or after he asks Kenma if he knows he's .0000001% cyborg (or pet with a chip, he guesses).

“Trade with me,” Yamaguchi offers.

Tsukishima shakes his head. Yamaguchi has his favourite- watermelon. If it was any other flavour, he wouldn’t mind swapping.

“Oi, Suckyshima, suck on your popsicle!” Hinata bellows, and by the loudness of his voice, one would think he was shouting from a distance.

He is right next to Tsukishma’s ear, having mystically teleported across the abandoned kiddie playground of the old nursery, because he heard the crinkling of the wrappers, like the wild animal he is.

“You can have mine,” Tsukishima gestures boredly.

When Hinata doesn’t reply, which is suspicious because (1) Hinata has no concept of shutting up, and (2) Hinata has no concept of rejecting food, he sees the boy stare at him, jaw unhinged.

“What?”

“You don’t offer things. You’re not nice,” Hinata says factually, and it’s his objective and atypical bluntness of his tone that causes Tsukishima to have half the mind to shovel wood chips into his opened mouth.

He hears Kuroo’s stupid signature cackle in the background.

He’s going to make him eat dirt, too.

“Is it poisoned?” Hinata inquires skeptically, narrowing his eyes.

Tsukishima would almost feel affronted, except he totally would do that, making Hinata for the first time since Tsukishima’s unfortunately met him, warranted in his concerns.

“Huh? What’s going on?” _And a wild Kageyama has appeared, as well!_

Tsukishima stares at how Yachi’s gripping onto Kageyama's wrist, fingers too small to properly close around the circumference.

A sudden and distant thought crops up in the back of his head: _my fingers could circle around the bone completely._

Then, because he’s sensitive to Kageyama’s brutally opaque presence, even that extremely absent-minded thought nearly sends him into anaphylactic shock.

“Tsukki hates grape,” Yamaguchi supplies helpfully from where he’s lounging on the springy plastic duck next to the bench that Tsukishima sat down on (because he refuses to sit on the dog ride, instead. His legs would cricket due to how close the ride is to the ground, as it was made for people like _toddlers_ and Hinata. Besides, he’s not that socially suicidal. Sure, that statement could be easily argued since he chose to voluntarily spend his time with this group on a Sunday, but at least there was a silver-lining; their stupidity makes him appear more mature).

“Oh. So you’re picky?” Hinata concludes.

“No.” Tsukishima says.

“Yes.” Says Yamaguchi, a traitor, liar, and demoted best friend.

“Can I have it then?” Kageyama asks bluntly. 

Tsukishima stares.

Kageyama glowers back, and Tsukishima inwardly leers at the obvious regret taking form in a flustered snarl on the boy’s face.

“Fine,” he sighs, before Kageyama can start shouting and making a commotion. After all, he _really_ doesn’t want to eat this anyways. “Here, hopefully such a gift from a peasant like me can satisfy your demands,” he says loftily, stifling a snort at the way Kageyama looks like he wants to punch him in the throat over such a childish remark. He knows it's childish- but it's still funny that Kageyama gets riled up over something so lame.

Then he remembers when Kageyama uppercutted his crotch with the ruthlessness of a politician, and his smile instantly plummets.

“Take it,” he says, perhaps a tad too aggressive, wanting Kageyama to go away before he can get the idea of taking another swing. At this, Kageyama’s scowl darkens, but he does reach forward.

Then, he does the most peculiar thing.

Peculiar not in a remarkably curious manner, but in a ‘what-the-absolute-fuck’ sort of way.

Kageyama’s calloused fingers brush against his to grab the popsicle stick, when suddenly, he jerks back, emitting a sound like someone placed Siri through a juice press.

Tsukishima hears the creaking tempo of Yamaguchi’s duck ride abruptly stop, and Yachi squeak at his action.

Tsukishima stares at the way Kageyama's arm skitters away, hand reeked so far back that his elbow is next to his ear, his glare thundering and intense on Tsukishima’s popsicle stick.

Hinata’s screaming, but he always is, so Tsukishima doesn’t register his reaction as evidence that he’s not the only one thinking that Kageyama’s an absolute nutcase.

“...do you not like grape too?” Tsukishima finally musters a response.

And he glances upwards to shoot another remark, when he pauses.

The boy’s entire neck is an impressive shade of red, crawling over his cheekbones and steaming his forehead.

Tsukishima nearly drops his popsicle (thinking profoundly, that if he placed it against Kageyama’s cheek right now, it’d probably sizzle. What if he touches it, would his cold hand warm up immediately?). “Oi, what’s wrong? Is there a bug or something?” Hinata chatters, jumping up before patting Kageyama on the jaw.

Then, he slaps him the same way he’d spike a volleyball.

And just like that, Kageyama reverts back to his primal instincts of trying to strangle Hinata dead. “HEY. What’d you do that for you stupid-”

“Because _Bakayama you were being stu-”_

"Oh. I see." Yachi tilts her head, as if realising something profound, when Tsukishima thinks that doing so is simply overestimating the limits of their combined IQs. 

“Stop it!” Daichi groans reluctantly, not at all reinforcing them from where he’s listless on the swing, abandoned by his pusher since Kuroo is now trying to build a castle out of dirt. “No fighting!”

“They're just having fun, senpai!” Nishinoya sticks out his tongue, before leaning over and taking a chomp out of Hinata's popsicle. Tsukishima rolls his eyes as the jumbo shrimp squawks loudly, hissing at Nishinoya.

“I want to go home,” Kenma says stoutly from where he’s kicking over Kuroo’s dirt castle.

Tsukishima does too.

“You’re no fun!” Yamamoto complains from where he’s making a mud pie with Tanaka.

“You want mine?” A voice calls from above him, and Tsukishima raises his eyebrow at the sudden and directionless question. He looks over, only for something to touch his face, and Tsukishima jumps at the sudden cold and wet sensation against his chin. He sees Kageyama recoil with equal vigor, eyes wide and startled. He’s holding another wrapped popsicle. “Because. Because you gave me yours.” He mutters redundantly. Tsukishima can figure out that much without an explanation- he’s not like Kageyama who needs a Lego manual for communication.

He nearly snarks back, before dropping it. He's too tired to do this. "Sure." He sighs lacklusterly, dropping the 'thanks' since it's Kageyama and really, this is just compensation for the popsicle he didn't want, anyways. He takes the popsicle, navigating his fingers for a grip underneath Kageyama’s fist clenching the stick tightly. At this, Kageyama sharply retracts his hand, nearly dropping the entire thing on the floor. 

Tsukishima stares at him, unimpressed, even more so when he sees the way that Kageyama’s eyes are hyper-focused on his movements. As if watching a bomb.

He rolls his eyes, and readjusts his hold on the stick, and tears open the popsicle.

It’s grape.

He stares at it.

And with the arm of a trained middle-blocker, flings the entire popsicle across the yard.

* * *

[symbiotic relationship]

“What are you doing?” And Tsukishima feels like he’s been asking that way too many times for his liking. But, in his defense, he really never knows what someone like Kageyama is doing. Though, he often does wonder if asking is meaningless, as he’s pretty sure that for the most part, Kageyama himself doesn’t know what he’s doing either.

However, Kageyama’s newfound hobby of invading peoples' spaces with the delicacy of a head-on car crash, is something that even Tsukishima can’t escape.

“It’s nice.” Kageyama explains flatly, from where he’s splayed on the floor, his chest and elbows propped up on _Kyoutani Kentarou’s_ legs.

Kyoutani grunts.

Then glares at Tsukishima.

Tsukishima, standing up, has the given height advantage. He leers down, and to his expected disappointment, Kyoutani appears not at all bothered by his practiced condescending glower.

If anything, he looks like he wants to ring his neck.

And if Tsukishima has to suspect one variable that’s preventing him from doing so it’s-

His eyes flicker down from his unmoving face to Kageyama, who’s flipping through a manga while on Kyoutani’s lap _._

“Colluding with the enemy, aren’t we?” Tsukishima inquires coldly.

“Kyoutani’s warm,” Kageyama replies nonchalantly. 

"You read manga?" Tsukishima glances down, changing the subject once he decides that while he likes making fun of Kageyama, Kyoutani has yet to do anything to him. _One Piece._ Well, that's everyone's childhood, he supposes.

"First time." Kageyama admits, surprising Tsukishima. Even Tsukishima has his own share of anime or manga from when he was a kid. 

"First time reading manga?" Tsukishima frowns.

"Mm." He glances up. "Doesn't." His frown twists tighter. "Doesn't Luffy remind you of someone?" Luffy? The stupid, loud, and shamelessly selfish yet not insensitive shounen protagonist who forcefully makes friends with everyone who's five seconds from walking the plank themselves?

He hears Hinata screaming from the side.

Nice, _extremely_ determined, passionate, cares about dreams, and overall loveable? 

"...nope." He can't think of anyone remotely loveable.

"Kyoutani, you should read this." Kageyama recommends.

"No." Kyoutani replies, not unkindly, though.

“Do you converse with your own teammates this way?” Tsukishima asks curiously, and _bingo_ , because Kyoutani’s scowl ripples back even tighter, an animalistic leer stained across the crowns of his teeth. And he didn't mean that to be taunting, but Tsukishima's well-versed in that and his mild superiority-complex is easily satiated by it. Something pleased curls in the back of his throat. "Your own teammates probably wouldn't get close to you."

No wonder Kageyama's clinging onto them. They’re equally touch-starved. For good reason.

Then, to Tsukishima’s absolute horror, Kageyama looks up from his comic, with a thoughtful demeanor as he studies Kyoutani. And Tsukishima _knows_ it’s ‘thoughtful’, because his entire expression is painfully scrunched into a pretzel twist like he’s having a neurotic aneurysm. Then, Kageyama reaches over, and scuffs Kyoutani’s buzzcut.

Kyoutani’s eyes widen, and now he looks like he’s _really_ about to commit first degree murder and Tsukishima should step back and if the King dies then so be it-

Kyoutani’s expression crumples back into its typical lour, and gruffly ruffles Kageyama’s hair in return.

Tsukishima nearly drops his water bottle.

“What the _heck.”_ And he looks over, it’s the guy with the plastic, Ken doll helmet hair. “Kyoutani?”

“Yahaba.” Kyoutani responds with equal judgment. 

And as Tsukishima glances around, he realizes it’s not just them staring- it’s both of their teams.

“Kage _yama?”_ Turniphead squeaks, voice fluctuating between pitching shock and lofty numbness.

“Character development or solidarity between equally difficult personalities?” States the one beside him, Kumini, a kid Tsukishima only bothers to remember because he reminds him of Kenma. People like Kenma are more often than not, victims to their surroundings, so Tsukishima feels intrinsic and unfounded pity for him already.

“Tobio-chan?” And it’s _Oikawa’s_ annoying voice that's drifting over from the other side of the net, from where he and Sugawara were verbally abusing each other. “Did I hear something about my und-” his voice is stunted short, and Tsukishima, wondering if Iwaizumi effectively killed him this time, locates him.

No. Unfortunately.

He’s simply just staring at Kageyama and Kyoutani as well, like they're an exotic animal exhibition- a comparison that Tsukishima feels like is rather fitting, given the two individuals. 

_“Tobio-chan?”_

Kageyama, probably learning from his mistakes and the fact that upperclassmen can’t be trusted, wisely does not respond to Oikawa's voice. Instead, he shifts his elbows slightly, balancing them on Kyoutani’s thighs. And that can’t be comfortable for Kyoutani. Like. At all.

And Kyoutani doesn’t seem to be the tolerant type yet he’s-

Tsukishima’s knuckles saw against each other as his grip on the silicon bottle tightens.

“And _Mad Dog?”_ Oikawa murmurs. “I. Wait Tobio-chan-” and he walks over, something pathetic and slimy in his tone. Then, rattling Tsukishima to the bones because _what_ , Kyoutani limply drapes an arm over Kageyama’s back, hand casually cupping Kageyama’s shoulder that’s the farthest away from him.

Kageyama doesn’t appear to care about this, as he flips onto the next page.

“Back off.” Kyoutani growls threateningly. 

Oikawa actually _does_ for a second, but Tsukishima’s pretty sure it’s because Oikawa’s trying to process the shock of this situation. Fair enough. “I’m your _senpai!”_ He shrieks, eyes blistering like overheating lightbulbs. "Mad Dog-chan, _you_ never let me hug you!" He squawks. 

“Yeah. Because I know you’re a natural biohazard.” Kyoutani replies shortly, and Tsukishima didn’t think he had it in him. Kyoutani is normally quiet in spite of the raging atmosphere around him- a demanding presence in the background. And honestly, Tsukishima thought he was as verbally fluid as Kageyama was.

Maybe it’s because Oikawa tends to trigger everyone’s fight or fight response (the responses range from verbal like Sugawara's, to exceptionally violent like Iwaizumi's), that even someone as reserved as Kyoutani would instinctively lash out at Oikawa's close proximity.

“Tobio-chan, I can’t believe you’re letting someone touch you-”

“No. He let me touch him,” Kageyama corrects without even looking up from his book.

“You _let_ him? If you wanted a pat on the back, while I _know_ we don’t always get along, I could always provide to my dear kouhais-”

“No.” Kyoutani and Kageyama say in unison.

And Tsukishima finally realizes exactly why the two found each other the way they did: (1) their exclusive and awkward nature allows them to instinctively understand each other the same way that the first humans did despite not speaking the same language, and (2) they both have intense emotions, and a common enemy to direct those feelings on.

He doesn’t pity Oikawa.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing this.” Watari laughs. “Oh geez, I’m taking a pictu-”

“Fuck off.” Kyoutani retorts gracefully.

"Is he being possessive?" Yahaba mutters scathingly. "Oi, Kyou-"

"I'm not." Kyoutani responds shortly but not aggressively. Tsukishima doesn't know either of them pretty well, but they seem to be on neutral terms. Or maybe even good, given Kyoutani's nature. "I just don't like Oikawa." He explains flatly.

“Who knew Mad Dog-chan could have a cute side,” Oikawa leers, his jealousy poorly hidden for all to see. “Tobio-chan, you _really_ don’t want a hug from _me_ -”

“No.” Kageyama says, effectively humiliating Oikawa in front of his entire team (though Tsukishima has a feeling that Oikawa doesn’t need Kageyama’s help with that, and if anything, his teammates seem to swarm him like sharks for the most part).

"I always knew I liked him," Hanamaki points.

"Mm. Kyoutani has good judgment," Matsukawa adds.

Tsukishima looks over, and sees his _own_ teammates, also directing their cameras over. “What are you doing?” He asks Yamaguchi who comes closer, standing beside him.

“Blackmail material,” Yamaguchi answers casually, proving himself to be corrupted by Sugawara-senpai’s presence over these past two years. 

“OI KAGEYAMA-” and it’s _Hinata._ Taking that as his cue to leave, Tsukishma attempts to mold his bottle back into shape, before turning around to exit to Karasuno’s side of the net. “CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE BEFRIENDING THE ENEMIES!”

“I’m making _friends!”_ Kageyama retaliates with equal conviction, and Tsukishima stops walking, nearly running into Kindaichi and Kumini, who appear similarly disturbed by Kageyama’s statement.

“You know what ‘friends’ are?” Tsukishima mumbles, whirling around to see Kyoutani pointedly avert his gaze from Kageyama on his lap, shoulders clamped against his ears, looking embarrassed and most definitely lost in how to respond. 

“SHUT UP! I want to pet him too.” Hinata blisters, suddenly clambering over Kageyama who’s now shouting unintelligently (as always), and glaring Kyoutani in the face. Kyoutani himself looks very overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events, but Tsukishima has yet to meet someone resistant to startling stupidity, anyways. “I would tell you off for getting too close to Kageyama because he’s too _dumb_ to know what’s going on with people-”

“You’re too dumb to understand what’s going on in _CLASS-”_

“But you’re like him. So I guess you’re not dangerous.”

“That was seriously backhanded,” Hanamaki comments rather cheerfully from the side, clearly finding this situation more amusing than not.

“Isn’t Shortstack a coward?” Tsukishima raises a brow. Especially when it came to intimidating presences.

Then again, Kyoutani, flustered and trapped against the wall by two idiots, does not appear terrifying in any form at the moment.

“Wait this isn’t fair-” Oikawa whines. “Mad Dog-chan you won’t even let _me_ pet you?” 

“He lets me.” Iwaizumi states dryly from where he appears to be one of the only ones unaffected by the state of things, given that Daichi, who’s purposefully not facing their direction, is still going over the schedule with him.

“Who wouldn’t want to be pet by you?” Hanamaki smirks, and Matsukawa fusses his cotton candy hair. Tsukishima watches, genuinely terrified, as Hanamaki quickly winds his limbs around Iwaizumi’s form with the speed of a snapbracelet, before resting his chin on his head.

He doesn’t know if it’s impressive or concerning that Iwaizumi doesn’t even react to this.

“BUMBLEBEE!” Hinata squawks, and Tsukishima, putting two and two together, coughs a snigger out of shock. “Oi. You're not scary. I could beat you in volleyball- beat you to death! What makes you think I can't pet you, either? _HUh?_ ”

“I-” Kyoutani fumbles, jerking backwards and nearly cracking his skull open against the bleachers. 

“Let him,” Kageyama sighs, appearing slightly bothered by Kyoutani’s sudden movements that’s jostling him as well. “He’ll never stop until he gets what he wants.”

“Shut _up!”_ Hinata squirms, still straddling Kageyama’s back like he’s a dysfunctional car seat. 

“I-” then, because the author of their sad Wattpad story of a life includes too many numerous plot holes and has no sense of respect for canon, allows Kyoutani to say: “sure.” 

Tsukishima wants to throw his water bottle directly at Kageyama’s face.

“YOUR HAIR IS SO FUZZY!” Hinata notifies Kyoutani, as well as the entire gym. 

To the side, Yahaba’s now doubling over on the floor, no longer laughing, simply just seizing up. Heart disease is real, after all.

“Shut up!” Kyoutani spits, yet, he makes no move to shift the two parasites off of him.

“You know. Blackmail only works when the people in the photo are embarrassed.” Yamaguchi says professionally, sounding disappointed.

“Kyoutani clearly is,” Tsukishima replies.

Yamaguchi looks him dead in the eye. “You want to blackmail someone like Kyoutani?”

And Tsukishima’s eyes flit back to the scene of an extremely embarrassed and heated Kyoutani, trying to still his twitching legs to not bother a seemingly indifferent Kageyama, with a personified Category 1 Hurricane latching onto his face like an exuberantly bright starfish.

Tsukishima has a sudden and terrifying thought that Kyoutani reacts similarly to Kageyama in certain situations.

And almost reflexively, at that thought of the two being swappable, he says: “yeah.”

A loud clatter startles him out of his delusional thoughts, and he looks over, to see Yamaguchi’s crooked hand next to his face morphed into a state of incredulousness, his phone lying on the phone. 

* * *

[kageyama's fake self awareness + nishinoya]

Kageyama doesn’t know why, but he enjoys whatever he’s doing.

He likes grabbing Hinata by the nape of his neck and carrying him like a neurologically challenged cat. He likes it when Sugawara attempts to throttle him while simultaneously scruffing his head.

He exceptionally likes it when Kiyoko sometimes holds hands with him to make sure he doesn’t get too lost in public spaces, though, he actually thinks that's a habit of hers conditioned through hanging out with Sugawara all the time. Actually, no. He initially hated it, thinking it was unnecessarily bothersome, but he likes Kiyoko, so he guesses by transitive property, he'll like this. too. 

He likes it when Kuroo gives him piggyback rides- it's a free ride, after all.

He likes Kyoutani, and likes Iwaizumi-senpai, especially when they both keep Oikawa’s harassment at bay.

But there’s something different about all those touches.

None of them felt equally as warm and burning as when he got pissed at Tsukishima and straight up socked him. That’s when he originally assumed perhaps he just liked playing with others, the way Sugawara-senpai and Tanaka-senpai like to cling around others’ necks, leap onto their backs and reassure them through physical contact that typically leads to mild bone fractures.

But after touching everyone, and realizing the same _holyshit_ feeling wasn’t there, he then proceeded to realize maybe the exhilaration resulted from the fact that he punched Tsukishima, who was a deserving asshole.

However, then the park scenario happened, and the heat returned and snapped his nerves and probably at least one of his neurons. And that’s when he realised it was Tsukishima.

He likes touching Tsukishima.

He doesn’t know how to proceed from there. To be fair, he never really knew how he ended up touching other people either. From Kuroo, to Daichi, to Kyoutani, all these incidents just somehow happened without thinking.

He can’t think about getting close to Tsukishima without overthinking.

“I want to hold his hand.” He mutters, clenching his fist. 

“Uh. Mine?” Nishinoya inquires curiously from where he’s forcing Kageyama to lay still with their knees touching, while he’s attempting to construct a tattoo machine out of an abandoned paper clip and the broken pen he found in the wastebin. “Because I’m busy,” he remarks dryly. 

“Tsukishima’s.”

Nishinoya drops the broken inkwell of the pen. “Out of _everyone_ , you want to hold _his-”_

“He has large hands. Would be nice,” Kageyama replies defensively, feeling like he's going to be called out for saying something weird when it's _not_. He likes it- he doesn't care if other people don't.

He wishes the rest of the team will return quickly. Nishinoya promised to keep him company, while the others went to collect food first.

“Tsukishima. Oi, Kageyama, I know you’re pretty dumb but that’s gotta be the stupidest and most suicidal thing I’ve heard.” Nishinoya shrugs. 

“Didn’t Suga-senpai say you nearly got held back-”

“SHUT UP!” And he truly does have the same energy as Hinata. No wonder Kageyama always feels at peace around him. 

He decides to tell him that. “You’re my favourite senpai.” He blurts out.

Nishinoya drops his pen for a second time.

Then, his eyes glitter ominously. “Say that. Say that again I’m recording that-”

“Why?”

“To shove it in Tanaka’s face, obviously!” He gleams, abandoning his paperclip that he was prepared to stab into Kageyama’s leg to create an image of a volleyball, despite neither of them having faith in his ability to draw a circle. “And the rest of the captains, imagine that bastard Oikawa's expression, imagine _Kuroo-”_

“I don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to,” Nishinoya reassures firmly, and Nishinoya is essentially an alternate reality version of Hinata, so Kageyama doesn’t think he’s capable of having a single malicious thought. He's probably fine. “Say it!” He demands, holding his phone up to Kageyama’s mouth.

“Uh. Noya-senpai, you’re my favourite senpai?” He says awkwardly.

“Yes! Oh my gosh, ah, next to Yachi, you're definitely my favourite!” Nishinoya gasps. Then he pauses, “next to Hinata, too.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound very sorry. “Hinata is my number one fan.”

“Isn’t he Bokuto’s?”

“I-” Nishinoya’s head whips around. “No!”

Kageyama doesn’t know much, but what he does know is that that’s not true, but he doesn’t have the heart to tell him that. “Okay.” He finally agrees awkwardly, feeling as if he should reply at the very least. However, he must’ve not been very convincing, because Nishinoya groans, and rips at his hair. _A lot like Hinata_ , he muses, vaguely entertained. “Sorry,” he tacks on, feeling as if he should apologize.

“Wait. Repeat that.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve never heard you say ‘sorry’ without sounding like you’re taking a large dump while constipated _say that again_ I’m going to record it _god I’m the best senpai ever-”_

* * *

[tsukishima's unstable responses to realisation of feelings + motor chick incident]

“Beat it.” Tanaka snarls, and Kageyama, too sobered by Sugawara’s consistent teasing and the fact that he could step on Tanaka whenever he wanted, doesn’t find his expression that scary.

However, these strangers must’ve found something in his stare, because they do skitter away.

“Jesus, tormenting my kouhai,” Tanaka sneers. “What were they even after? Should I chase after them? I’ll beat them up for you guys! Just give me the word- just watch!”

“Please don’t.” Tsukishima states firmly.

“I think they thought Kageyama was challenging them with his expression.” Yamaguchi shrugs. “It was just miscommunication.” 

“I- how _dare_ they assume things?” Tanaka huffs, before horking up a bullet of saliva and spitting it onto the concrete. Tsukishima pauses, staring in utter disgust, before stepping over it. “Yer lucky I was here, you know.”

“Could’ve handled it ourselves,” Tsukishima says casually, living up to his existence as an ungrateful bastard, as he remains undisturbed by Tanaka’s following shouts. 

“No. You were fully prepared to abandon us to them and leave.” Yamaguchi retorts dryly, seemingly resigned to Tsukishima’s mild glare and its undercurrent of betrayal. “Anyways, thanks Tanaka-senpai!”

"THANK YOU!" Hinata nods brusquely, bowing low, ignoring Tsukishima’s snicker and Yamaguchi’s startled snort.

"...sure. Thanks,” Kageyama adds with brutal conviction, before whirling around and storming ahead.

Hinata bounds beside him. “Whaaa, you sounded insulted. Tanaka-senpai’s gonna think you’re mad-”

“Shut up!”

“Great response.” And Kageyama jolts, rounding accusingly to Tsukishima, who looms behind him, gaze drawling from Hinata who’s now bristling, and to Kageyama.

Kageyama simply meets his glare with his own when Tsukishima’s focus lingers on him longer than he’d like. “What?” He calls out snappishly.

“Nothing. Just wondering how I got to this point.” Tsukishima remarks lacklusterly, the void consuming the nonexistent depths of his voice.

“Oh.” Kageyama says as if he understands, when Tsukishima's convinced that he literally does not.

They continue walking in silence.

Except they had Hinata with them, so in complete actuality, nothing was silent, and nothing was good in this world.

Tsukishima pivots to the side as Hinata suddenly snatches for Kageyama’s arm like a coked up cat, eyes saucered and mouth equally large. “KAGEEEYAMA!”

“Should we save him?” Tsukishima inquires, and he nearly trips over his own feet at his statement. To the side, Yamaguchi stares, and even Tanaka stopped his griping, nearly dropping his phone.

“Tsukki-” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“That was the nicest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Tanaka snorts, looking disastrously amused, simultaneously sealing Tsukishima’s internal and silent agreement to literally never ever be a decent human being again. “But I think Kageyama would like it,” Tanaka remarks, flitting over to Kageyama, who’s essentially being manhandled by Hinata, nearly eating pavement because of him. 

“Tanaka, not all of us have dreams of wanting to be stepped on by pretty people,” Tsukishima drawls. “Just because Kiyoko-senpai and the dumbass look simila-” his voice trails off at the way that Yamaguchi’s no longer by his side, and by the way that Tanaka this time really _does_ drop his phone and probably all of his brain cells in one go. He rewinds his words, instantly realizing something’s off.

He replays his sentences back to him.

Tsukishima calmly stops walking, and glances behind him to see that Yamaguchi is already units away from them, staring off into the distance, looking like he’s ready to abandon modern life and technology to go backpacking for a passion in the deserts of the Pacific Ocean.

“Did." Yamaguchi begins, voice faint from their distance. "Did you just call Kageyama pretty by proxy-”

Tsukishima then steps off the curb and straight into the road.

“Tsukki _NO-”_

\---

“What are they _doing?”_ Hinata mutters, wholly bemused, Kageyama’s elbow still caught in his viper-like grip. Kageyama’s pretty sure if he flexes just an inch, his entire joint will shatter like a glass Pyrex casserole dish.

“I don’t know.”

They look at Tsukishima, who appears to be the only normal one of the three, as Tanaka has reinstated his ‘seeking for Niverna’ state through his uncharacteristic silence, and Yamaguchi apparently has forgotten how to walk.

Then Tsukishima walks onto the middle of the road. 

Conveniently, this is when Yamaguchi decides to relearn his fine motor skills. “Tsukki, nO-”

“Huh.” Hinata frowns as a passing motorist veers left, unfortunately missing Tsukishima by the hair. “They’re so weird.”

“Mm,” Kageyama nods. Then: “oh, we’re nearing the convenience store.”

“Oh! You got cash?” Hinata gasps, eyes tearing from the scene as he bounds forward, and Kageyama feels something strange and warm and goopy melt through his ribcage as Hinata continues linking their fingers together. 

Hinata’s quite amazing, though he’ll never say it. For being able to adapt to Kageyama’s unspoken wants with ease, without drawing attention to Kageyama himself and rather, placing himself in the spotlight through questionably human noises and outbursts of loudness. 

“No, dumbass,” Kageyama remarks scaldingly. “The fuck would I have money for?”

Hinata groans, fumbling through another unintelligent scream. “God. Okay. It’s okay, Tsukki didn’t die so but he's so stingy but- STINGYSHIMA!” Hinata roars behind them to where the trio are still suffering from a near fatal accident. “WHAT’S YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER?”

\---

“Look, they have spicy versions too!” Hinata gawks, humming as he gathers plastic bags with assorted mantous and buns he had personally selected. Kageyama, knowing that he can always steal from Hinata since it’s the strong that survives and Hinata’s the size of a toddler stool, doesn’t grab any of those for himself at the moment.

“Thanks for paying, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says cheerfully.

Tanaka, who insisted on paying for himself, claiming it was simply irresponsible if he stole money from his underclassmen, is currently trying to flirt with the other cashier.

“It's nice you haven't sued us,” Kageyama finally addresses the elephant in the room while placing his entire block of wrapped soy milk onto the counter. “But why are you here?” He rounds to the leather-clad motorist who has not removed their helmet the entire time.

“I mean. Tsukki nearly did cause a whole lawsuit. And endanger her life as well as his own,” Yamaguchi says dryly, gesturing to the cyclist who just nods mutely.

Kageyama stares at her curiously.

She doesn’t say anything.

Or really look like anything.

Maybe all motorcyclists are just this way.

“Sorry,” Tsukishima utters, and Kageyama, not even the one in the direct line of apology, still snickers, entertained by the fact that _Tsukishima Kei_ , an utter dickfish with a half-assed superiority complex, is bowing down to a stranger.

Then again, he was never really rude to the average citizen.

Kageyama pretends like that doesn’t make it _more_ insulting that he purposefully goes out of his way to make Kageyama’s life miserable.

“She says it’s okay,” Yamaguchi reassures.

Kageyama stares.

She didn't say anything.

Kageyama instantly suspects telepathic linkage.

“Oh. Tell her that she should’ve just ran Stingyshima over,” Hinata bounds excitedly, and Kageyama swerves out of the way as Tsukishima’s large hand goes flying past in front of him snatch Hinata by the throat.

“You could just tell that to her on your own, stupid,” Kageyama snorts.

Kageyama steps aside as Tsukishima calmly walks over to their cashier, who’s staring wide-eyed at Hinata who’s purple in his chokehold. Using his free hand, Tsukishima digs out his wallet. Inwardly happy, Kageyama walks over, and the moment the cashier hands over a receipt, Kageyama rips open his packet of milk and begins to tear into one of the milk cartons.

“She wants you to pay for her insurance.” Yamaguchi says from behind.

Tsukishima’s hand stills.

“Just kidding!” Yamaguchi sniggers, and Kageyama walks over to him, glancing at the lady. Strange. Completely blank due to her mask, she gives no outward indication of expressing any emotions.

Or maybe he’s just bad at this.

His milk suddenly tastes sour.

He reaches into his six-pack still cradled in his arm, and retrieves another carton. “Here.” He hands it over to her. He didn’t pay for it anyways, and, he supposes she could use a little reward. After all, her life probably flashed before her eyes when she nearly received a civil case over debatable suicide-murder because Tsukishima had zero consideration for the public health and their own mental states.

She stares at it.

Then, with a gloved hand, accepts the carton.

He feels bad. Imagine getting into shit over someone like _Tsukishima._

Then, the motorcyclist walks over, and pets him.

Kageyama nearly punctures a hole in the back of his throat as he chokes on his straw.

To the side, Tsukishima actually jerks so hard that he releases Hinata, who as a free man released into society, prepares for his next rampage by teething himself on Tsukishima’s wrist.

“She says thanks.” Yamaguchi translates.

“Oh. You’re welcome.” Kageyama replies nonchalantly as if he didn't just almost die. He preens underneath her gloved hand.

He looks over when he hears a particularly loud squawk.

He blinks. 

Tsukishima’s looking over, a large hand clasped around Hinata’s neck. Again.

Kageyama pauses, and they make eye contact, before Tsukishima quickly whirls around, disregarding him.

Kageyama stares a bit longer at his back, before turning to Yamaguchi, who’s smiling at Tsukishima as if he finds something particularly funny.

“She asks if you two are together.” Yamaguchi suddenly snorts.

“Huh?” Kageyama blinks, gnawing on the straw of his drink.

Yamaguchi turns to the motorcyclist. “As if those two are emotionally competent enough to get together,” he says lowly, as if joking with her.

"What's she saying?" Kageyama asks gruffly, finding this wholly unentertaining, especially since he's being ignored.

Yamaguchi blinks with round eyes at him, smiling cheerfully. Yeah. And Yamaguchi's nice and honest. Unlike Tsukishima. He wouldn't tease him or have an inside joke about _Kageyama._

"Nothing." He consoles. "She says since Tsukki clearly has lots of luck especially after missing death by a strand, things will work out well!"

* * *

[movie night]

“Why is he here.”

Yamaguchi nearly runs into Tsukishima’s frozen figure, and that causes a chain reaction with the other first-years behind him.

“Oh- _Oikawa-senpai?”_ Yamaguchi gasps.

Oikawa Tooru, in all his glory, is currently wearing socks on Kageyama Tobio’s couch, eating an entire family-sized bag of chips by himself.

“Oh. He lives here.” Kageyama informs nonchalantly from where he’s eating a burnt piece of toast.

“What. Since when.” Tsukishima blurts.

“WHAT? GRAND KING?” Hinata swallows a burp.

"Shut the fuck up, you're so loud!" Kageyama roars, removing the speck in Hinata's eye without seeing the log in his own. 

“Hey. No swearing, don’t develop bad habits,” Oikawa snaps lowly.

“You have _glasses?”_ Yamaguchi mumbles, though Oikawa has already ignored them, eyes fixated on the television screen.

“But what about him _living_ here?” Tsukishima presses, slipping off his shoes. 

“Yeah. Sorry. Forgot to tell you guys. Didn’t know he was staying this weekend.” Kageyama states apologetically.

And only they’ve arrived by now. Tsukishima can’t wait until the rest of the team does and encounters him. Daichi’s going to flip. _Sugawara is going to flip._

“Wait _why_ -” Yachi begins hesitantly.

Then, they hear a loud flush and running of water from down the hallway, and all of them turn their heads in that direction.

Iwaizumi Hajime steps out from behind the door, and upon seeing their expressions, freezes.

“Wait _what_ -” Tsukishima doesn’t know if he’s more mad or cryptically unsettled by this sudden and _extremely_ out of left-field development.

“My mom likes Oikawa.” Kageyama says, as if he thinks they’ll believe that. “She knew he was my senpai from my middle school volleyball club. So our moms talked a lot. And because Iwaizumi-senpai and Oikawa are best friends-”

“Nanny.” Iwaizumi corrects in a mumble, now forcefully popping up the toaster to reveal a second charred slice. “Also, please stop cranking up the heat, just wait for it to toast normally.”

“I mean. Why should I wait five minutes at six-hundred degrees celsius when I can toast it in a minute at thirty-thousand degrees celsius instead?” Kageyama complains, and he hears Yachi moan an inhuman noise of worry, but Tsukishima just says that sometimes people should just let natural selection take its course. 

“He cheated. There’s no way he can calculate simple multiplication,” Tsukishima deadpans.

Iwaizumi, either out of resignation or experience, takes Kageyama’s point with little disappointment, and instead just prods the toaster. “There’s not even an _option_ for six-hundred degrees celsius _what did you_ _do_ to get it this hot-"

“Anyways,” Kageyama has effortlessly ignored Iwaizumi who scowls at him. Maybe it's because they're of the same brutish breed, but it's weird to see Kageyama interact with him so easily. “That means recently, as Oikawa-san has forced Oikawa to hang out with me, and he refuses to come alone without Iwaizumi-senpai, our families have gotten rather close.”

“WHAT THAT’S SO COOL!” Hinata gapes. “YOU GUYS CAN JUST PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH THREE PLAYERS EACH DAY AND ON YOUR LEVEL OH MY GOD-” then, more defensively, “OI, Kageyama, why haven’t you invited me over to play EITHER?”

“Why would I?” Kageyama makes a noise of annoyance. “Last time you came over to my house you broke all our plastic Ikea cups.”

“You managed to break plastic cups?” Tsukishima says in disgust.

“You managed to break Ikea cups?” Yamaguchi asks with a voice of someone who’s simultaneously impressed but fearful of the god they’ve encountered.

“If you want, we can get out of your hair, we didn’t know you had guests over,” Iwaizumi suggests kindly, waving to Yachi and Yamaguchi, who beam in response. He also gives a friendly nod to Tsukishima, and Tsukishima shuffles slightly, before giving a slight bow in response. He’s never interacted with Iwaizumi that much- never intended to, given that he’s latched to someone like Oikawa at the hip. Besides, Iwaizumi didn’t seem much of a talker- on court he was always stern, sometimes explosively so. Like Daichi, except Daichi smiles.

But Iwaizumi appears tame, almost calm here, even though his resting face isn’t in a smile.

He seems fine. It’s more of someone else who’s a bit of a problem-

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi ignores the beckon.

“IWA-CHAN you have to watch this play with me- it's between USA and Russia-"

“Wait, I wanna see,” Kageyama gasps. 

“Not right now,” Iwaizumi yanks him back by the collar, and Kageyama pouts. And it’s funny, how he’s slightly shorter than Kageyama, yet he’s clearly the one in charge.

Then again, it’s very hard to _not_ see Iwaizumi as the responsible one given how he’s being compared to people like Oikawa Tooru and Kageyama Tobio.

“You have to figure this out. What’s going on here?” Iwaizumi points to all of them.

“MOVIE NIGHT!” Hinata bellows. “With the rest of our team! And with you guys, I guess.”

“No, we can leave beforehand.” Iwaizumi shakes his head. 

“NO YOU HAVE TO STAY!” Hinata bristles, “you have to stay! So that we can play volleyball!”

“At what time? Midnight? In the dark?” Tsukishima says snidely. “Also we don’t know if his parents would approve-”

“My parents aren’t home and my sister is on campus. That’s why they kept asking Oikawa-senpai to stay at home for the weekend whenever they have business trips.” Kageyama intervenes. “They won’t mind, as long as we don’t make a mess. Also,” he pauses, “I think my mom is happy to hear I have people over.” He mumbles, eyes darting away defensively.

And if Tsukishima was his mom (a weird concept, one he’ll never revisit again), he supposes he’d be happy if his socially incompetent son with absolutely no life skills finally has an outside influence in his life.

Then again, outside influence here indicates Oikawa. He supposes desperation really does lower one's standards.

“Okay, what is this conversation,” a snide drawl from behind alerts them. Oikawa swaggers over with the confidence and stability of a college student smashed on their fourth mug of black coffee brewed with RedBull and the tears of their bank account, before slinging an arm around Iwaizumi who clicks his tongue harshly. His other arm ropes around Kageyama like a noose.

Kageyama clicks his tongue as well.

A pairing, indeed.

“I’m not leaving. Y’all can go,” Oikawa grumbles, pointing at them.

Tsukishima takes a second.

He’s pointing at _him_ specifically.

He feels called out.

“You can stay,” he points at Yachi. Then, slowly, peers at Yamaguchi who blinks. “You too.”

“WHAT ABOUT ME-” Hinata roars, disgruntled.

And Tsukishima's not going to complain. He just doesn't like being told what to do. "I didn't want to stay in the first place. Bye."

\---

Daichi walks into the living room, following after Kageyama, and stares.

"Oh. Hi senpai!" Yamaguchi greets happily.

"...Hey."

"UNO!" Hinata screeches viciously, slamming his cards down.

"It's still Go Fish, Hinata," Iwaizumi says tiredly.

Oikawa stares. "...Hinata. Do you have an eight."

"No." Hinata says, from where he picks up his entire deck casted onto the table, with all four eights.

Tsukishima's here, too, looking out the window, deck folded in his hands.

"He's been like that since the beginning, don't worry." Yamaguchi says, petting Tsukishima's back, and the boy's frame wavers listlessly underneath the act.

Daichi stares. Then, "yeah. Okay."

\---

“This is nice. We get to watch a horror movie!” Sugawara chirrups.

“Yeah. But like.” Tanaka sighs. “Why are _you_ here?”

They all turn to Oikawa who has stubbornly positioned himself next to the bowl of popcorn, with Iwaizumi dragged beside him. 

“I could say the same to all of you.” Oikawa says coolly in unison with Iwaizumi who says: “sorry.”

“No, Iwaizumi, don’t worry about it,” Daichi claps him on the back, shuffling away from Kinoshita to kneel beside Iwaizumi.

It’s surprising, how close the two really are.

Then again, on the other hand- “Suga-chan, I heard that you’re falling behind in your physics class. Lucky for you, I happen to be exemplirary in it. Need help?” And the jeer is obvious. It seems like the two get along quite well because their best friends are of the same breed, too. 

Sugawara’s smiling as usual, expression calculatingly cold. “Really? I’m glad to hear it." He retorts to Oikawa. "If you want, in return, I’ll have Kageyama teach you his serve techniques-”

Tsukishima stills and Yamaguchi chokes on his water.

To the side, Kiyoko looks genuinely disgusted by Sugawara. 

“That was a bit...that wasn’t nice.” Yamaguchi mumbles.

Tsukishima shakes his head. “They’re enjoying it.” He points at Sugawara who has perched himself beside Oikawa, both of them wearing a shrapnel smile. “A twisted duo.”

“Where’s ASAHI?” Nishinoya howls from where he’s been building a pillow fort out of the couch mattresses with Tanaka, much to Kageyama’s displeasure.

“In the bathroom.” Ennoshita answers, of course having tabs on everyone.

“I. _WHY?”_ Nishinoya huffs. “I don’t _get_ it that was forever ago-”

“Yeah, ‘forever’ being seventeen minutes ago, coincidentally the same time when the jumpscare cropped up,” Ennoshita says casually, reaching over Oikawa to grab another handful of popcorn.

“I still haven’t recovered from that yet,” Yachi whispers from where she has crammed herself as close as possible to Yamaguchi’s side, in obvious distress.

“I have.” Tsukishima snarks, and Yamaguchi smacks him on the thigh as Yachi groans.

“SHut UP you’re wrecking the movie.” Sugawara hisses venomously from the front, a hand plastered across Oikawa’s neck. Looking at Sugawara’s face, Tsukishima already knows that the horror movie is nothing in comparison to what he faces in real life.

Tsukishima’s gaze flits boredly to the movie. Nothing special about it. It follows every cliche and every horror trope out there, and the obvious plotline it’s following isn’t providing trepidation as the events approach the inevitable already known to the audience. If it was better executed, its predictability would instead provide suspense and excitement as the conclusion gets closer. 

A sharp and loud cackle behind him interrupts his internal rant.

He cranes his neck over, irritated.

Kageyama is stiff and unblinking, with Hinata shrieking with entertainment. “Look. He’s like a cat! He’s startled just by my shouting!” Hinata snorts.

“You know. Hinata’s inability to feel fear is enviable.” Ennoshita states. Then, with a darkness that Tsukishima sparingly sees in someone like him, he says: “it kind of pisses me off.”

“I hate it.” Tsukishima states flatly.

Out of everyone here, he despises that it’s _Hinata_ who’s completely immune to the sensation of fear. He doubts the kid even _knows_ of its existence, and Tsukishima’s wondering if it’s Hinata’s stupidity to be blamed for that.

“Tsukishima, stop harassing Kageyama.” Daichi’s tired voice exhales from the front.

“I-” Tsukishima can’t believe this slander. “I didn’t do anything.” He grunts, turning to Kageyama, who’s ashen, glassy eyes fixated, unseeing. Tsukishima inclines his head slightly. “Has he blinked?” He asks judgmentally.

“Is he breathing?” Yamaguchi whispers, no longer focused on what’s in front of him. 

Curled beside him, Hinata pinches Kageyama on the shoulder, and the three of them jolt back as Kageyama jackknifes forward, flinching hard.

“Oh my god.” Hinata says in awe, exposing his inability to think with substance as he breaks out in a smile.

“I think you broke him,” Yamaguchi observes, sounding rather impressed.

Then, a scream erupts from the television behind him.

Tsukishima witnesses first-hand as Kageyama kills Hinata on the spot with a reflexive grab, snapping the boy’s neck as his arms go latching around his bowling ball head.

Hinata is no longer laughing, and is instead screaming if the inhumane muffled noises slipping out of Kageyama’s grasp says anything.

“Wait. He’s going to suffocate,” Yamaguchi says, no longer amused.

And Tsukishima isn’t sure what spurs him to do so, but he struggles to pry Kageyama’s arms off of Hinata, because _yeah_ if the kid dies then he dies, but Tsukishima doesn’t want to have a tragic past of a dead teammate following him throughout college.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi hisses, but he doesn’t make an effort to help.

Tsukishima pauses, and looks over.

“Sorry. Can’t move.” Yamaguchi shrugs nonchalantly, gesturing to Yachi who’s staring at the screen with soulless eyes, limp against him.

Tsukishima stares disdainfully. 

He finally wretches the two apart, dropping Hinata whose screams become clear without Kageyama’s deathgrip.

“Hinata, _please."_ Daichi shouts from the front.

“Oi, don’t bother Tobio-chan!” Oikawa bristles before getting decked in the head by Iwaizumi.

Tsukishima ignores them (because if _he_ can ignore Hinata being a general nuisance on a daily, then _they_ can-), and prepares to slip back into his spot next to Yamaguchi where his hand has easy access to that simp's throat-

When something yanks him back down, sending him staggering backwards. 

“Ey- you-” Hinata sputters hysterically, “stop it! You nearly crushed me-”

Tsukishima, used to finding the boy incomprehensible even when he is paying attention to him, easily blanks Hinata into incoherent white noise.

He snaps his head over to stare at Kageyama, already knowing he’s the culprit for his loss of balance. That shithead has wound his arms around his own.

Something hot coils in the back of his throat. 

“Kageyama.” Tsukishima rasps.

Kageyama, unresponsive, eyes wide and galaxial like the depths of the cursed Windows Screensaver with Nothing in it, doesn’t turn to him.

“Kageyama,” he repeats tightly. His elbows aren’t flexible- they’re beginning to strain. “Kageyama!” He snaps, and for good measure, jabs the boy in the neck, and he watches with mild satisfaction as Kageyama chokes back into reality. “Let go.” And he-

He would prefer it if he didn’t. But the grip is _tight_. Kageyama is a beast of a kid, each flex of his slim arm, emphasizing the coily muscles of his arms. It’s terrifying. “Oh. Sorry.” Kageyama sputters, his anger slipping as nuanced embarrassment blotches his cheeks. 

He loosens his grasp.

He doesn’t make an effort to let go, though.

Tsukishima glares in obvious judgment, but before Kageyama can completly release him, he sighs, and awkwardly moves up onto the couch, collapsing right beside the boy.

“I- Tsukishima?” 

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi begins, looking over, before a shit-eating grin overtakes his features.

Tsukishima scowls.

“What the _heck!”_ Hinata bristles from the other side of him. _“Move!”_ And he recovered quite fast.

“Hearing Kageyama say the words ‘sorry’ without sounding like he’s deepthroating a curling iron has given me a change of heart for this whole thing,” Tsukishima mutters, ignoring the way Kageyama winces, anger rejuvenating his glower. “I’ve decided to repay that moment by making sure he doesn’t faint in the midst of a movie.”

“I won’t _faint-”_

“If he does, then at least things’ll be quieter,” Sugawara rumbles from the front, and Tsukishima sees the way Daichi looks over at Sugawara, the glare of the movie highlighting the obvious concern creasing his already crumpled countenance. Clearly, Daichi’s well aware that Sugawara is more than capable of acting out those implications.

“If Kageyama faints, won’t it be better for his heart than just sitting through this whole movie?” Hinata asks curiously.

Tsukishima flicks Hinata on the head before Kageyama can obliterate it like a hollow ping-pong ball.

He glances over, and sees Kageyama glowering at Hinata, but thankfully not making a scene that would result in all of their deaths by Sugawara’s two hands. He sighs with mild relief, that at least he’ll have another day to live and stare at his ceiling up till three A.M. wondering why he made the life choices he did.

Hearing his sigh, Kageyama glances over, and they make eye contact. Tsukishima tenses, but as expected, Kageyama sharply looks away, but _unexpectedly,_ the curve of his ear darkens alongside the crescent of his cheek. Tsukishima blinks, before smirking. _He’s embarrassed._

Then again, Tsukishima supposes he finds this situation weirder than not, but _embarrassing?_ _Well_ , he wasn’t the one who clung onto someone in the first place, so he’s reaping all the benefits and none of the humiliation. 

And Tsukishima is not the type to spoil anyone, especially not Kageyama. His teammates do enough of that by accepting Kageyama’s questionable personality. Tsukishima, at the most, can tolerate his existence. Meaning Tsukishima doesn’t _indulge_ in problems or situations that Kageyama’s own presence gets himself into- he knows his limits and his boundaries, and he refuses to be a pushover when it comes to them.

Yet he lets himself slouch into the pillows (and Kageyama’s is like cold pebble, his arm dry and cool to the touch-), and settle himself in the middle of a dumb predicament Kageyama had initiated.

 _Tsukishima is not the type to spoil anyone; he knows his limits and boundaries, and he refuses to be a pushover when it comes to them_.

(The only conclusion that can be made with those unbreachable laws he made for himself, is that Tsukishima’s boundaries must be changing little by little, and surprisingly, Kageyama Tobio might be the cause of it.)

\---

“Oh. What the heck."

Yamaguchi immediately takes out his phone to zoom in on his two friends, ignoring the way Iwaizumi immediately restrains Oikawa from tearing the two a part.

He snaps a picture with flash on, snickering. Now _this- this-_

And the photo is good quality- shows the laxness of Tsukishima’s posture, of his head balancing peacefully on top of Kageyama’s that’s angled awkwardly onto his shoulder. And Hinata’s there too, half of his body splayed over Tsukishima’s lap like a dog.

This is way better blackmail material than the previous picture.

* * *

[????]

"So. You learned that you're fond of physical contact, but somehow, Tsukki's touch is _different_ from others, but this all started from when you punched him." Yamaguchi finally gives his Sparknote rendition of Kageyama's explanation.

"Punching someone like Suckyshima would give me a high, too," Hinata nods approvingly. 

"It's great that Kageyama's finally getting a translator for his feelings since he's incapable of doing it on his own-" Tsukishima says, "but why am _I_ here? Aren't these discussions usually private?" He says pointedly, something warm and blotchy tightening his neck. _Yamaguchi, you traitor._ And he already knew coming out here was a mistake- hanging out with _these_ people are a mistake. 

"Obviously because this is about you," Kageyama says, like he's dumb. "Besides. Who cares if it's private or not?"

Tsukishima squints. "This is weird. Don't drag me into _your_ feelings-" _feelings._ The acknowledgment of those knot his tongue, and he fumbles over his words. He glares even harder when Kageyama looks back, unperturbed and unbothered, and Tsukishima feels like he's being cheated for being the only one embarrassed in this predicament. "I want to go home," he finishes lamely, sick behind his gated teeth.

"We all want to go home, Tsukki." Yamaguchi sighs.

They all look at each other, then shuffle a bit farther apart on the busstop bench that they were abandoned at. The tension between them rise, and Tsukishima _knows_ it's only because of him, because Kageyama, the absolute _dolt_ , seems blissfully unaware of what implications he had made. 

God. He wishes he were stupid. Kageyama looks so happy that way.

"So are you guys going to kiss, or-" Yamaguchi continues when no one says anything.

"We just ate?" Kageyama frowns while Tsukishima bristles out a very hard and defensive _"no."_

"UGH," Hinata groans. "I'm hungry."

"We just ate," Kageyama echoes redundantly.

"So. You guys are. Dating?" Yachi finally asks meekly, staring at them in confusion, while Kageyama and Hinata are readily glossing over Yamaguchi's taunt.

"Who?" Kageyama blinks while Tsukishima glowers at Yamaguchi, the catalyst of Tsukishima's nearing self-destruction. 

Yachi stares. "So you're telling me that you ignoring Yamaguchi's question was just a part of your personality, not because you guys are together-"

"Who?" Hinata asks curiously, having the attention span of an Animal Crossing character. 

"I'm leaving." Tsukishima automatically stands up, his flight or flight responses blaring so loudly he can barely hear the sudden protests from beside him. And he's-

He's never showing up at school again. Screw this.

A sudden figure steps in front of him, and he clicks his tongue, angry and lashing out because-

He's just-

_Annoyed._

"Hey. What are you doing?" Kageyama challenges menacingly, like _Tsukishima's_ the reason for the bad mood. And it's _not_ Kageyama's fault that he's unaware of how _humiliated_ he feels, but somehow, he's angry at him the most, for _absolutely_ no reason. Or maybe not. Maybe he's a bit mad. He got punched, Kageyama found out he _liked_ touching people due to it, and he's never even gotten a 'sorry' or at the most- he's never-

If Kageyama found out he _liked_ touching other people due to it, the fact that he's never once turned to Tsukishima for even a casual tap (and Tsukishima doesn't even _like_ physical contact, so he can't comprehend why he would even _care._ Guess his ego runs deeper than he thought-), bothers him more than he'd like to admit. "You're being a real dick, you know." Kageyama snaps.

He wants to laugh. He is. 

"Yeah. And?" He responds smugly, his lips twitching upwards out of habit, his rattling eyes fixated on the scenery behind Kageyama.

"I- _what_ are you doing? Why do you sound so-"

And he flushes, something ugly and red tinting his cheeks and his vision, because he's being called out for his immature behaviour by Kageyama. He exhales soundly. "OI, SUCKY," a voice caws from the behind Tsukishima. "SHUT UP! COME BACK!"

At the same time, someone yanks on his arm, and Tsukishima unslightly recoils. It's Yamaguchi. "Tsukki, I'm sorry, I went too far and teased you on something that clearly made you uncomf-"

"He teased you?" Kageyama inclines his head, staring as if's realising he's truly lost on this situation. "About what?"

Yamaguchi falls quiet, eyes darting to Tsukishima cautiously. 

"Hey. Kageyama," Tsukishima addresses, coldly and sees the way Kageyama's hackle rises warily. At the normalcy of this dynamic between them, by the common tension (and _not_ the weird one Yamaguchi cultivated like the traitor he is-), he feels his hands settle a bit easier in his pockets. This effortless disdain for each other is normal; this is scripted, something he _knows_ and isn't dangerously uncharted. "What'd you mean by you felt different when you punched me?"

"Hm? It just did." Kageyama answers bluntly. "Hey. Hold hands with me." He suddenly demands, holding out his own. Tsukishima looks at him, then back at the hand, then back at him, mildly disturbed by this sudden command. "Bastard didn't you-"

"I heard." He replies, his shock thawed out by his irritation for his attitude. He casually grasps Kageyama's dry hand with his own, as if his chest isn't tightening as uncharacteristic nervousness buzzes in his brain like a swarm of flies.

His skin is cold even in the springtime, and the dryness is pleasant in his balmy and warm hand. 

"Huh. Knew it." Kageyama finally says after a moment of silent. "Okay." He lets go, and looks at Tsukishima, as if satisfied.

 _"Knew what?"_ Yamaguchi blurts, clearly unable to restrain himself anymore. Tsukishima doesn't get mad at him for this- honestly, _yeah, what the heck, Kageyama._

Kageyama looks at them, as if puzzled. "That it felt different?" He says, dumbfounded by their confusion.

Tsukishima's going to shoot him.

"You-" Tsukishima stammers. And while Kageyama can never startle him with his brilliance, he can always baffle him with his bullshit. "You can't just- _what do you mean, feels different?_ Is that a good thing?" He asks unconfidently and suddenly with a sturdy voice, despite the fact that his entire ribcage caved in. He inwardly curses at his stupid question because he should just _drop_ it instead and pretend like none of this has ever happened-

He thinks he's going to kill someone and he can't tell if it's going to be Kageyama or himself. 

"Yeah." Kageyama says. "Hey. Tsukishima, hold my hand from now on."

_"You can't just do that-"_

Kageyama looks at him blankly. "Oh. Okay."

Tsukishima screams, but he doesn't take back his words.

"You know when you see an ending, and the ending is just as you expected it, but the entire plot and development is going completely off the rails leaving you not necessarily unsatisfied but most definitely disturbed?" Yamaguchi says hollowly, looking at Kageyama with almost a flicker of admiration. 

"Anyways. Let's go back. The bus will show up," Kageyama, the _jerk_ who does whatever he wants because he lives up to his nickname and his inability to compromise for others, grabs his hand without asking, but this time, Tsukishima doesn't call him out on it. As Kageyama yanks him back to the bus stop, Tsukishima thinks back to when Kageyama unapologetically socked him, and draws the conclusion that while he wouldn't call Kageyama inconsiderate, he'd most certainly call him shameless.

"Oh." Yachi looks at their conjoined hand, and then to Tsukishima's face of obvious bewilderedness, then to Yamaguchi who's hollowly looking back, and then to Kageyama's look of resolute determination. "Glad to see you guys made up," she says with unfounded confidence, while distracting Hinata with a single Twizzler she had retrieved out of her purse. She then looks back at Tsukishima, almost pitifully. "Good luck," she says with absolutely no indication as to _what_ she could be rooting him for, and Tsukishima looks at Kageyama who blinks back.

He's going to need it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a whole segment where terushima appeared wtih other ppl, and xoxo kageyama gets stabbed with a pen, was bleeding out in a parking lot, everyone's just casually discussing like usual, and tsukishima's sorta like "what even is this", and i had to delete it bc i just didn't know how to include this into the 'kageyama likes touching ppl' theme.
> 
> anyways if you haven't noticed, im pretty bad at writing romance. and i actually dont know how to write romance, nor have i ever experienced it nor am i willing to. therefore, everything from here on out will be bullshit but dont worry, that's like everything i write with or without romance ;)

**Author's Note:**

> anyways xoxo this is for my pal, my bff, my best friend, who motivated me to write this for like. three bucks. 
> 
> this is 3$ quality and you know it. 
> 
> !!!  
> >:)  
> you guys should talk to me @strawbrained on twitter!!! um. i never reply i respond to things after like twelve days but!!! sorry yeah lmao.
> 
> also:  
> get ready for chapter 2!! which is just tsukishima kei trying to salvage his last string of mental stability while kageyama tobio obliviously destroys all his fight.  
> aka:  
> tsukishima kei unwillingly gets a boyfriend after resignedly accepting this is his fate.


End file.
